This post took a few days to write because I couldn’t stop laughing. No, seriously — I felt there surely must be something wrong with me. We’re living through a nightmare election, a nightmare pandemic, a nightmare economy, yet every five or 10 minutes or so I’d get all giggly. Almost to a point that my ribs got bruised. Now, I realize that you, as you read this, may be worried that I’ve finally lost what’s left of my mind, but truly, I haven’t. I think the simplest explanation would be to remind you of a very old joke:
Q: What’s your favorite schad?
What else is there to feel regarding the spectacular fall of Jerry Falwell, Jr. — or, as we call him in my household, “Freaky Jeaky.” And, by the way, I’m not mocking Falwell for having a fetish where he likes to sit in a corner and
read the Bible pleasure himself (or giggle) as he watches his middle-aged wife get it on with hot young studs — of that, I really couldn’t care less. It’s more that the raging hypocrisy of the religious right has finally, finally been revealed for what it is: a con game, a sham. That’s sweet.
And now that a second allegation has been made — that Becki Falwell performed oral sex on her son’s 22-year-old bandmate — I’m practically in convulsions of laughter. Liberty University, indeed. Falwell is probably sitting home thinking “Give me Liberty University or give me death” and starting to see positives in the latter. “You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor,” frankly, does conveniently omit the gold-digging pool boy, so what’s the problem?
Not only is the ABC News interview with the aforementioned former pool boy, Giancarlo Granda, faintly hilarious, but this paragraph in the story is what I call, um, “comeuppance” for all of those many, many hypocritical, homophobic leaders of evangelical Christianity:
Reuters published an explosive interview with Granda, 29, in which he contended that his seven-year affair with Becki Fallwell began in 2012 – when he was 20 years old. He said that Jerry Falwell Jr. watched his wife’s sexual trysts with the younger man from the corner of the room or through video cameras. He provided text messages, screenshots and audio to corroborate his account…
Bring. It. On! Just so those that have been judged and judged by Falwell and his ilk can sit back and have a good, long laugh at his ($10.5 million) expense. Not the least of which will be anti-Trump supporters, since we now know that the Falwells were basically blackmailed by Michael Cohen to earn their endorsement of the Grifter-in-Chief back in 2016. Anyone for a cigar — or popcorn? LOL.
Or, to quote the Song of Solomon:
As an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men. With great delight I sat in his shadow, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
The nauseating rise and spectacular fall of Falwell is the main theme of the latest episode of the Burke’s Law podcast here on The Clyde Fitch Report. Leading us through the latest American political insanity is, of course, Elizabeth Burke, and she is joined by me (pardon me while I giggle) and also by Michael Houk, our multimedia sound-editing wizard living — safely masked — where the devil goes down (giggle) in Georgia.
If you enjoy this podcast, please leave us a review and share this episode on social media. On Twitter, follow Liz at @burkelawNYC and follow CFR at @TheCFReport. And make sure you are registered in your state by going to www.iwillvote.com.