Pooper Pants POTUS and Coronavirus: The True Story

Republicans may have been exposed to Coronavirus? Thoughts and prayers! Thoughts and prayers!

Thoughts and prayers, dumb-ass.

As the world fights the insidious Coronavirus, Leonard Jacobs and I fight the urge, on this episode of the Burke’s Law podcast, to giggle over what is maybe a real photo of our stable genius wearing what looks like — er — a diaper? Is it true that he’s President Poopy Pants? Yes, yes, it’s childish, but after watching 48 hours of Coronavirus news over the weekend, Leonard and I feel just little childish. And apparently the leaky Trump meme might be true.

We also observe that it’s a Coronavirus — not a Coronovirus. Is it coincidence that the virus roared into our lives after all the women dropped out of the presidential race? I’m certainly not a infectious disease expert like our Pooper Pants POTUS, but — yes, absolutely!

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On Mon., March 9 — the day after Leonard and I recorded this episode — we learned that four House members are self-quarantining: Rep. Mark Meadows (Twitler’s new Chief of Staff), Rep. Doug Collins, Rep. Matt Gaetz and Rep. Paul Gosar. So is Sen. Ted Cruz, which proves that viruses are not discerning about who they like. This is all happening because of someone who has been diagnosed as Coronavirus-positive and came into contact with all of the above at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC).

How especially poetic that Gaetz — who mocked the seriousness of the situation by wearing a gas mask on the House floor when he voted for the $8B bill to fight Coronavirus — may have it. Karma is also a woman. She’s a bitch.

Oh — and to add to his foolishness, Gaetz also flew back from Florida on Air Force One with President Orangefuhrer! My, my. Thoughts and prayers. Thoughts and prayers.

Let’s also remember that our super-genius President molested the American flag at CPAC as well. Can you imagine how many people touched that flag after he slobbered over it? Thoughts and prayers. Thoughts and prayers.

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During the episode, Leonard and I also try to make sense of what President Stable Genius said at the Center for Disease Control (CDC) last Friday. Unfortunately our brains couldn’t handle it and needed a lot of Tito’s vodka to take the edge off.

Speaking of which, we also talked about the fact that you cannot make hand sanitizer with Tito’s vodka! Not just because Tito’s put out a statement to this effect but because Leonard and I, having bought it by the gallon, also poured it all over our hands.

But back to the campaign to get the Trumpenfuhrer out of the White House and closer to the hoosegow where he belongs. Now that Sen. Elizabeth Warren — my personal favorite in the Democratic race for President — is out, we agree that whoever is the nominee must bring in a woman, preferably a woman of color, for Vice President. My choice is — yes! Sen. Warren! But Stacey Abrams or Kamala Harris would also be perfect.

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Coronavius is going to exert a deep financial hit, not just on the stock market as we have seen, but throughout all industries that are people-reliant. Just look at all the conferences that have been cancelled; with South by Southwest off the table, Coachella could be next. How long will it take for hotels, restaurants, tourism, airlines and car rental companies to recover? The financial markets are roiling and, of course, the Russian asset in the White House isn’t concerned with thousands of stranded people on a cruise ship off the California coast. No, he’s more concerned with the fallout of his own inept administration’s handling of this crisis. Is this another 1918 Spanish flu pandemic? Will it go away as we move into summer — only to roar back in the fall? As Colin Jost said on Saturday Night Live, we are all going to die:

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