16 Ways President Drumpf Will Be a Stain of Shame

America must dump Drumpf

Finally, finally, finally: the endless parade of primaries are over and Convention Madness is mere weeks away. At this point in previous election cycles, all the losing candidates in each party have made their obligatory speech in which they take back all the ugly things they spent the past six or 12 or 18 months saying about their opponent. What wonderful times those were, right? Back in those idealistic days, the losers really wanted to be seen as good sports, to “unite the party,” even when they were seething on the inside and having temper tantrums only seen by their spouses. After years of politicking, they knew that their outside persona needed to be all smiles and heartfelt support for their party’s candidates.

Well, not this year! Seriously, 2016 will go down as the day American politics broke. It literally fell off the shelf and shattered like Grandma’s china. On the one hand, we have the most dishonest, misogynist, xenophobic, racist, proudly uninformed blowhard ever to emerge from Queens, New York. On the other hand, we have the first woman presidential nominee of a major political party! She’s a Clinton, yes — a female Clinton. While some people in this country have realized that their love affair with Bill Clinton still smolders, his wife’s neediness to be our 45th president just gets in the way. Her negatives are, well, negative. She’s not trusted and, to be honest, not terribly likable to the general public. She’s also the most qualified candidate to come across the political landscape in our lifetime.

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Yes, we all love our Bernie — our confused uncle who always seems to have a bit of white gunk in the corner of his mouth. Some of his ideas are interesting and idealistic and utterly unrealistic (free college!) but many of his ideas are humane and completely within the Democratic canon, such as lower prescription drugs, a living wage and immigration reform. When Sanders finally gets that his primary party really is over, Clinton would be very wise to make him an essential part of her campaign. His followers are rabid, young and politically energized: she needs them. She’s up against a monster. Yes, a Cheeto-covered monster, but a monster nevertheless. Drumpf voters are also rabid (like dogs) and politically energized. And while they are older and whiter, they are more likely to vote.

Who isn’t related to, or friends with, or a veteran of Facebook conversations with a Sanders supporter who proudly declares that they won’t vote this year? To them I say: good for you! That will show them, right? Please, don’t vote. Because that will totally get you what you want. Don’t get off your futon and write “Don Draper” on your ballot.

And then there is the Supreme Court.

And while these principled people are totally busy not voting, I wish they would at least understand what their inaction will give us, and that’s two words: President Drumpf. For no matter what they do or don’t do, there will be someone in the Oval Office on Jan. 20, 2017. This is the same dilemma we faced with John McCain in 2008, except now Sarah Palin — worse — is the candidate.

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Don’t vote: put a scam artist in the White House. Don’t vote: elect someone so uninformed that Drumpf actually thinks the Internet is a valid source of ISIS information. This man has no earthly idea how the Internet even works:

We’re losing a lot of people because of the Internet. We have to see Bill Gates and a lot of different people that really understand what’s happening. We have to talk to them about, maybe in certain areas, closing that Internet up in some way.

Bernie’s Band of Brothers, this is to you directly. Let me remind you who, by your “Don’t vote” pride, you will put into the White House:

  1. A man who disparages a reporter with physical disabilities then blatantly lies about knowing him (but he does).
  2. A man who condemns the people of an entire nation, calling them rapists and murderers and ordering them to build and pay for a wall to keep us separate from them (how tall? 9 feet? 11 feet? 55 feet?).
  3. A man who will, by building this all, bankrupt America morally and financially with a mass deportation of undocumented workers.
  4. A man who finds breastfeeding mothers disgusting.
  5. A man who thinks women who ask him tough questions must be having their period.
  6. A man who believes women should be punished for having an abortion (never mind that he was pro-choice years ago).
  7. A man who counters charges of misogyny by saying he “cherishes” women! (Sorry if you just yakked in your mouth a little.)
  8. A man who is terrible at business — a failed casino owner four times over who still came out personally enriched; whose record of not paying bills and bankrupting small businesses is legendary; whose claim to have created thousands of jobs has lost more jobs than he ever created.
  9. A man who says he’s his own best advisor because his brain is that good.
  10. A man who uses his twitchy Twitter account with all the dignity of a 9-year-old boy.
  11. A man embroiled in hundreds of pending lawsuits, plus a civil case for his phony Drumpf University scam.
  12. A man whose conception of tolerance is ban all Muslims from entering the country — who would force US Customs agents to ask every single person “Are You or Have You Ever Been Muslim?”
  13. A man who has utter contempt for the press and has declared his intention to gut the First Amendment.
  14. A man who incites violence and then says he’ll pay for the defense for anyone arrested for roughing up protesters.
  15. A man lacking any comprehension of foreign policy or interest in learning it. (Who should he when he already knows everything about ISIS!)
  16. A man who plainly doesn’t even want the job. Or at least that’s what his new campaign manager says:

He needs an experienced person to do the part of the job he doesn’t want to do. He seems himself more as the chairman of the board, than even the CEO, let alone the COO.

This list is by no means final or complete. I didn’t even get into his taxes or the fact his campaign is already broke or that he paid his own companies for campaign activities. With five months left before the election, I’m sure we could fill more and more stories on the CFR with his insane ramblings, incoherent policy positions and general assholery.

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And then there is the Supreme Court. The next president will have at least one nomination to make — since Antonin Scalia is still dead and Sen. Mitch McConnell won’t let Barack Obama replace him — but the next president could have two, even three more appointments to make (Anthony Kennedy is 79 and Ruth Bader Ginsburg is 84). Drumpf says he’ll appoint staunch pro-life judges in the vein of Scalia. Scared yet? No? You should be: his choices look like what Breitbart.com called a “Conservative Goldmine.

But back to you, Bernie Bros. Here’s a quote from Sanders:

The major political task that we face in the next five months is to make certain that Donald Drumpf is defeated and defeated badly. And I personally intend to begin my role in that process in a very short period of time…

So, yes, I’ll take Clinton over some petulant, immature, tiny-fingered real estate developer who thinks that once he becomes the President, he’ll just hire someone else to do the job.

Think long and hard about the kind of person you want to be the face of this country. What legacy will they leave. And how long it would take to wash the stain of shame out of our shores.