Hair, Hair! A Trump vs. Sanders Dream Match-Up

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Bernie Trump HairIf the American electorate really wanted what it says it wants, the 2016 general election would be a contest pitting Donald Trump against Bernie Sanders.

You may love one and hate the other — or you might hate them both. But you ought to love both and here’s why: No B.S.

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You don’t have to agree with them to at least respect them for not telling you what you want to hear. A Trump vs. Sanders election would give us a far better view of the country’s thinking than a Quinnipiac poll.

Trump and Sanders are perfect opposites. Trump is the rugged-individualist-free-market-capitalist-self-made Übermensch to Sanders’ European-socialist-utopian Everyman.

To play their campaign announcements in split-screen ventures on the comical. Trump descends an escalator in a Manhattan skyscraper with his own name emblazoned – TRUMP – atop. The name descends from “triumph.” Jeb! may have his exclamation point, but TRUMP is all caps and printed in pure platinum.

Sanders, meanwhile, takes a break from sausage-manufacturing on Capitol Hill to speak to a few reporters to say he’s running for president and warns them he doesn’t have a lot of time for this. His name? It can mean “defender of men” or “one who lives on sandy soil.”

Trump goes off on an hourlong unscripted rant about how the country is being ruined by China and Mexico and Obamacare, and how his own greatness can solve the problem. Sanders goes off on a 15-minute rant about how the country is being ruined by the billionaire class, then turns around and walks back to the sausage grindery.

But they have this in common: They believe 100 percent of what they are saying. Trump and Sanders don’t have pollsters telling them how to tailor their messages. Trump believes in the individual, and Sanders believes in the collective. You can pick your side and vote for the one you believe in.

I’m a libertarian-leaning live-and-live kind of guy, who, given the Trump vs. Sanders option, would go Trump. He would not be my first choice in the Republican field, but his 100 percent honesty saves me the trouble of having to sift through his rhetoric. So does Sanders.

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Everything you’ve read up to this point was written before Trump’s troubles began. He already had announced and already had made the comments about illegal immigrants coming from Mexico that so riled everyone.

Interestingly, he didn’t get in trouble with his business partners right away. That took a couple of weeks — once his foes saw he wasn’t a funny little sideshow and might actually draw support.

Hillary Clinton’s campaign has treated Sanders the same way. She shrugged him off in her CNN interview last week, and said she’d always expected and wanted a primary contest all along.

Yeah, right.

It’s because of Sanders’ surge that she even agreed to crawl out of the hole she’s been hiding in and talk to the press at all.

It’s a well-known fact that the best place to find the pulse of the electorate is at the hair salon. And Lou, my stylist, gave me an earful about why she likes Trump last week. Lou admits Trump doesn’t think before he speaks and looks ridiculous with his pouty lips, but she admires that he isn’t a “politician” and tells you flat out what he believes.

I suspect if I lived in another part of the country, my barber would be saying the same thing about Sanders.