Entertation Index May 6-17: Taylor Swift Gaining Power

The real Taylor Swift?

Twice monthly, the CFR publishes a condensed, best-of-the-best version of The Brown
Tweed Society
‘s acclaimed Entertation Index. It compiles the best dish, gossip and celebrity news filtered via Brown Tweed’s unique sensibility.

And so, the Entertation Index, May 6 – 17:

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Abraham, Farrah – On Monday night, MTV Teen Mom star Farrah Abraham’s sex tape Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom debuted on porn giant Vivid Entertainent’s website and amassed an estimated 2 million views in a twelve-hour period. Good for Farrah. Of course, if she’d used this tactic all along, she’d have never been a teen mom to begin with. So, you know, bittersweet.

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Link: Farrah Abraham Sex Video Crushes Kim Kardashian Record (FOX)

Aniston, Jennifer – The Friends actress says that in her younger days she ate terribly and was “a lot rounder.” Young Jennifer Aniston responded that Jennifer Aniston is “a bitter old hen whose best days are behind her. And she’s had, like, how many boyfriends?”

Link: Aniston on Aniston (L.A. Times)

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something smothered in margarine.
Something old, something new, something borrowed, something smothered in margarine.

Boo Boo, Honey – The mother of reality-show phenomenon Honey Boo Boo, June Shannon, reportedly wed longtime beau Mike “Sugar Bear” Thompson in a ceremony on Sunday in McIntyre, Georgia. If this information means anything at all to you, it’s probably time to re-examine your priorities in life.

Link: June Shannon, Honey Boo Boo Mom, Getting Married to Sugar Bear (US Magazine)

Crow, The – Via Deadline Hollywood, rumors abound in Hollywood that despite actors like Bradley Cooper and Tom Hiddleston allegedly being tossed around to play the role, actor Luke Evans – who has previously been seen as “Detective Fields” in The Raven and “Apollo” in Clash of the Titans – has been tapped to play the supernatural titular character in a reboot of The Crow. If you read the previous sentence, you should know that its secret news should have just been “Bradley Cooper and Tom Hiddleston Both Turn Down Opportunity to Play The Crow.”

Link: Luke Evans Has Something to Crow About (Ain’t It Cool)

Day, Free Comic Book – Portland authorities say that several adults, dressed as their favorite film and comic book characters, were lined up outside Portland’s Coast City Comics on Saturday for “Free Comic Book Day” when a 6’4, 300-pound man came out of nowhere, putting a man dressed as a Stormtrooper in a chokehold and reportedly punching another man who was dressed as a Ghostbuster. Jeez, it’s like you can’t even have “Free Comic Book Day” anymore without some weirdo showing up.

Link: Stormtrooper, Ghostbuster Assaulted in Portland During Free Comic Book Day (Sun Journal)

Hanneman, Jeff – Metal band Slayer released a statement saying that guitarist Hanneman did not die of complications due to necrotizing fasciitis from a spider bite, as originally hypothesized, but from cirrhosis of the liver due to excessive alcohol consumption. For a guitarist for Slayer, either would have been fitting.

Link: Hanneman’s Cause of Death (Fox News)

Lavigne, Avril – The 28-year-old singer recently released the video to her new single “Here’s to Never Growing Up,” which reminisces about high school, proms, and falling in love. If you read between the lines, it’s about someone approaching 30 who hopes she can still make seemingly edgy but completely safe pop songs that teenagers will continue to buy.

Link: Avril’s New Video (Billboard)

Perry, Katy – The singer’s fundamentalist father says he weeps and prays for his “devil child” daughter when watching her performances because the audiences are “loving and worshiping the wrong thing.” Katy has assured fans that they are not worshiping false idols.

Link: Perry’s Pop (The Sun)

Pizza, Domino’s – A new feature available at pizza purveyor Domino’s website allows visitors to watch pizzas being made at all hours via a live webcam broadcast from a store in Salt Lake City, Utah. Consequently, no one has seen or talked to actress Kirstie Alley since the webcam’s launch.

Link: Watch Your Domino’s Pizza Being Made on Live Webcam (Ad Age)

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Robson, Wade – A former choreographer for Britney Spears and witness for Michael Jackson in previous child sexual abuse cases has reversed course and asked to file a claim against MJ’s estate, alleging he was in fact molested by the singer. Jackson was unavailable for comment.

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Link: Robson Accuses Jackson (NY Daily News)

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The real Taylor Swift?
The real Taylor Swift?

Stars, The Fault in Our – John Green’s best-seller is being adapted to the big screen, with Ansel Elgort and Shailene Woodley cast as the two leads. Hollywood insiders haven’t been this excited about a movie showcasing two actors with obviously fake names since Thora Birch and Mena Suvari starred in American Beauty.

Link: Actors in Movies (EW)

Swift, Taylor – Tomlin informed us of Swift’s purchase of a $17.5 million, 11000 sqft mansion in RI. Now we learn from Gawker that not only does the house have a person-sized birdcage, but that the singer has moved in her favorite chair, in which she supposedly sits to compose her songs. Reports of Swift’s eternal youth, as well as young virgins entering her estate but never leaving, are unconfirmed.

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Link: Swift’s Lucky Chair (Gawker)

Read the full Entertation Index only at The Brown Tweed Society, where you’ll find thoughtful pop culture news, trends and commentary. Follow TBTS on Twitter @browntweed.