Entertation Index Apr 22 – May 3: Affleck Lives High and Low

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Twice monthly, the CFR publishes a condensed, best-of-the-best version of The Brown
Tweed Society
‘s acclaimed Entertation Index. It compiles the best dish, gossip and celebrity news filtered via Brown Tweed’s unique sensibility.

And so, the Entertation Index, April 22 – May 3:

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Affleck, Ben – Actor and Argo director Ben Affleck has attached himself to the Global Poverty Project’s “Live Below the Line” campaign wherein he will eat for less than $1.50 for five days straight. Affleck’s people commented on his commitment to the cause, reportedly stating that Affleck “wants to show the world how difficult it is to be hungry in the roughly five days before Hollywood producers realize a person is incredibly handsome and yank him off the streets and put him in movies.”

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Link: Ben Affleck to Eat on $1.50 a Day (EW)

Bay, Michael – The internet went wild this week after word that action film director Michael Bay “apologized” for 1998‚Ä≤s Armageddon appeared in the Miami Herald. Alas, it was allegedly not true; Bay took to his own site on Tuesday claiming he was misquoted by the Herald reporter and that “I’m not in the slightest going to apologize for the third movie in my movie career.” He allegedly went on to admit that “I’m only sorry for two things in this world: that I didn’t get to sleep with Megan Fox before she met Brian Austin Green, and that Transformers: Dark of the Moon didn’t have more explosions. Period.”

Link: Michael Bay Hits Back in Armageddon Apology Flap (Deadline)

Bieber, Justin – Stockholm police raided Bieber’s bus during a Swedish tour stop when an officer detected a strong odor of drugs. A search turned up only a small amount of what appeared to be marijuana, pending test results. Police were so disappointed that they gave Bieber two dozen Ecstasy pills, a pound of top-shelf weed, and a stack of porn “so weird you can’t get it in the States.”

Link: Bieber’s Bus Busted (The Local)

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Braff, Zach – The Scrubs actor raised $2 million in three days through Kickstarter to help fund a follow-up to his film Garden State. $1.75 million of that is thought to have come from The Shins with the note, “please, please get us on the radar again!”

Link: Braff’s Follow-Up (Huffington Post)

Diamond, Neil – In a touching tribute to Boston after the Marathon bombing, Diamond himself sang Fenway’s eighth inning ritual “Sweet Caroline” on Saturday. Note: this is the only acceptable unironic rendition of “Sweet Caroline.” Sorority functions and white people’s weddings do not count.

Link: Neil’s Tribute (Spinner)

Lewis, Huey – Sentencing is about to begin in the trial of a northern California woman who stole Huey Lewis’ rented Toyota Corolla in February as Lewis left it idling. The woman led police on a high speed chase until the Corolla hit 88 miles per hour and disappeared, forcing the woman to harness enough lightning forty years ago to power the Corolla and return to 2013, where police were waiting on her. I’ll admit I went an awfully long way for that joke. Sorry.

"I made a poo!"
“I made a poo!”

Link: Woman Convicted in Huey Lewis Car Theft in California (SF Gate)

Lochte, Ryan – The Olympic swimmer promoted his E! reality show What Would Ryan Lochte Do by doing, among other appearances, a Good Day Philly morning show interview. Apparently, Lochte would get stumped by the simplest of questions and reduce the hosts to hysterics.

Link: Lochte’s New Show (Huffington Post)

Mayer, John & Aniston, JenniferPeople Magazine reports that the erstwhile couple almost came into contact with each other when Mayer dined just two tables away from Aniston and fiancé Justin Theroux at West Hollywood’s Sunset Tower. Reports have it that Mayer saw Aniston, but that the two somehow maintained decorum like mature adults and did not flip over tables and hurl drinks at each other. Shocking news, to be sure.

Link: Mayer-Aniston Non-Event (People)

Men, Two and A Half – With Sheen gone and Angus T. Jones out as a regular character, Two and A Half Men has ditched several of its original members and has lost nearly all cultural relevance. It is being renamed, Lynyrd Skynyrd: The TV Show.

Beep boop boop beep boop
Beep boop boop beep boop

Link: Jones Probably Not Returning To Show As Regular (EW)

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will.i.am – Black Eyed Peas frontman and notable producer will.i.am has admitted to borrowing a beat for his new single “Let’s Go” without first receiving permission from producer Arty (you all know Arty, right?). No word yet, however, on whether will.i.am and the rest of the Black Eyed Peas plan to admit to borrowing the wardrobe from the 2010 film Tron: Legacy for the last three years.

Link: Will.i.am Admits to Borrowing “Let’s Go” Beat Without Permission (Rolling Stone)

Witherspoon, Reese – The accomplished actress and husband Jim Toth were arrested last Friday in Atlanta on suspicion of DUI. She now regrets her supposed decision to forgo studying in-depth for Legally Blonde and instead “wing it,” saying at the time, “when am I ever going to use that?”

Link: Witherspoon Arrested (E! Online)

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Read the full Entertation Index only at The Brown Tweed Society, where you’ll find thoughtful pop culture news, trends and commentary. Follow TBTS on Twitter @browntweed.

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