Entertation Index Feb 25 – Mar 8: “Duck Dynasty” > Morrissey


Twice monthly, the CFR publishes a condensed, best-of-the-best version of The Brown
Tweed Society
‘s acclaimed Entertation Index. It compiles the best dish, gossip and celebrity news filtered via Brown Tweed’s unique sensibility.

And so, the Entertation Index, Feb. 25 – March 8:

Story continues below.

Bates, Kathy Misery star Kathy Bates has been tapped by American Horror Story creator Ryan Murphy to appear in season three of the chilling anthology series opposite returning actress Jessica Lange. And that means that, finally, all those “KATHY BATES BONDAGE LATEX SUIT” Google searches you’ve been typing will turn up something positive for you! Enjoy!

Link: American Horror Story Enlists Kathy Bates for Season 3 (Hollywood Reporter)

Boyle, Susan – The Scottish singing sensation who vaulted to fame and fortune(?) on…that one singing or talent show either here or in England, in like, 2008 or 9-ish? will appear on the big screen in period piece The Christmas Candle, where she’ll act and maybe sing that one song she was famous for. So much for striking while the iron is hot.

Link: Boyle on Big Screen (Idolator)

Delaware, Miss – Miss Teen Delaware USA Melissa King has resigned her title after it was revealed that she allegedly appeared in a pornographic video. Delaware, you need to own this: this is the only thing outside of being “First State in the Union” that people will ever remember you for.

Link: Miss Delaware Resigns (Huffington Post)

Downey Jr., Robert – Originally reported to take on the titular role in director Sam Raimi’s monster-budget Wizard of Oz spinoff Oz the Great and Powerful, a Hollywood Reporter story reveals that Robert Downey Jr. may have been ousted after Raimi visited his home and saw a plant he’d given the actor wilting and neglected in the corner. If this is true, it’s the juiciest gossip since Katie Holmes was forced from the Batman franchise for regifting a Cracker Barrel gift card from Christopher Nolan.

Link: Oz the Great and Powerful – Disney’s $200 Million Gamble (Hollywood Reporter)

Gaga, Lady – After cancelling shows due to a performance injury, Gaga is recovering from the same hip surgery NY Yankee Alex Rodriguez had. Unlike Rodriguez, illegal drugs are encouraged in order to enhance Lady Gaga’s performances.

Link: Gaga Has Surgery (NY Post)

It's not just for rappers anymore!
It’s not just for rappers anymore!

Lawrence, Jennifer – Oscar-winner Lawrence was caught on film smoking, as several headlines say, a “suspicious cigarette.” The stories that actually called it a “marijuana cigarette” were written by your high school guidance counselor.

Link: Lawrence Lights Up (Buzzfeed)

LYLAS, The – Grammy-winner Bruno Mars’ four sisters Presley, Tahiti, Tiara and Jaime Kailani – better known as the all-girl singing group The LYLAS – have announced plans to make an album and star in their own reality show later this year. I look forward to watching this struggling girl group fight the battles of anonymity and dingy, unattended club gigs as they search for their big break, which will come (spoiler alert!) when one of them realizes their brother is Bruno Mars and that they all have his phone number.

Link: Bruno Mars’ Sisters Take Off (Midweek)

Montana, French – Gunfire claimed the life of one person outside the rapper’s hotel after a recent concert in Philadelphia. As of this morning, police had no suspects or any idea why a rapper would name himself French Montana.

Link: No Motive in Montana Shooting (MTV)

Morrissey – Famed Smiths leader and notable whiner Morrissey was slated to appear on Tuesday’s episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live when he announced that he would not play the show unless Kimmel removed reality stars from the television program Duck Dynasty from the lineup, owing to the singer’s Vegan sensibilities – and Kimmel’s organization replaced Morrissey on the evening’s lineup. So all those drunken bar arguments you’ve had over the last year of “who’s more important to the art world, Morrissey or Duck Dynasty?” finally have an answer.

Link: Morrissey Cancels Kimmel Performance, Citing “Animal Serial Killers” (NY Times)

Newton, Wayne – The Las Vegas crooner’s Sin City estate has been put up for sale under uncertain circumstances. Industry experts speculate, though, that the sale proceeds will be enough to keep his corpse reanimated for another year or so.

This game of
This game of “Who’d You Rather?”
has no winners.

Link: Newton Estate for Sale (Huffington Post)

Styles, Harry – For your enjoyment: One Direction member Harry Styles getting hit in the crotch with a flying shoe at the band’s recent show in Glasgow, Scotland. Taylor Swift has been brought in for questioning.

Link: Harry Styles Nailed Below the Belt by Fan’s Flying Shoe (Yahoo)

Vandereyk, Kara – A notably not-from-Kentucky woman was arrested for allegedly having sex with a pit bull terrier last week. Several people misread the headlines as Ms. Vandereyk having sex with singer Pitbull, which would have been way grosser.

Link: Sex with Pit Bull (The Sun)

Read the full Entertation Index only at The Brown Tweed Society, where you’ll find thoughtful pop culture news, trends and commentary. Follow TBTS on Twitter @browntweed.