News Tapas: January 11, 2013

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Gun Control Freak

Joe BidenOn Wednesday Vice President Joe Biden met with members of gun-safety organizations and shooting victims groups. With Joe on a roll (JB was the one who yanked Congress from the fiscal cliff…for now), he will also meet with gun ownership organizations and sportsmen who use guns recreationally, according to the White House. Apparently, the White House thought it would be a good idea to put lovable Ol’ Joe into a room with crazy Wayne La Pierre of the NRA and his arsenal of travelling weapons. And it’s a complete turn-around for the very paranoid La Pierre when only last year, he said: “Why should I or the N.R.A. go sit down with a group of people that have spent a lifetime trying to destroy the Second Amendment in the United States?”

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But after the Newtown murders, the country is starting to become weary of what seems to be a monthly slaughter of innocents. According to January Pew Research Poll numbers, 49% of Americans believe in more gun control in this country.

But as usual and right on message (force fed by the NRA) the GOP was loud and clear: Now is not the time to talk about Gun Control. Because as far as gun rights advocates are concerned, it is NEVER the time to talk about gun control, especially right after another massacre. They will fight you to the death (with all their guns) if you try to tell them that civilians do not have an inherent right to sport their various assault weapons in a bar (Texas) in schools (most states) and of course thanks to the President, in any National Park, (Jacob Riis Beach has a shooting range?) or on the Amtrak. I happen to be taking the Amtrak to DC this week and I am praying that a passenger drunk on tiny bottles of bad wine doesn’t think it’s a good time to play with his toy.

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Piers Morgan and Alex Jones

Last Monday night, Piers Morgan had the best guest possible for the argument of gun control, Alex Jones. Mr. Jones’ absolutely unhinged performance was exactly the right image to portray of the fringe elements of gun advocacy. His face was purple with rage, his fists clenched, jowls shaking when he screamed: “The Second Amendment isn’t there for duck hunting, it’s there to protect us from tyrannical government and street thugs…1776 will commence again if you try to take our firearms,” Jones passionately claimed. “Doesn’t matter how many lemmings you get out there on the street begging for them to have their guns taken from them. We will not relinquish them, do you understand?” Watch as his spittle start flying the more wound up and crazypants he gets! Suicide Mass Murder pills? Where do you get those Alex?

Remember, this GOP and the NRA ersatz spokesman on 2nd Amendment rights is a whack job who is convinced that the US government was behind the 9/11 attacks. I guess Wayne “put guns in the hands of everyone” La Pierre wasn’t available.

This response is typical of those I have avidly been avidly reading on various comment sections. “All libs care about is POWER and CONTROL over the little people — to be able to commit genocides at will and unopposed.” Of course, genocide! That’s what I’ve been trying to remember to do today. You “Libs” are scary and dangerous and I thought the GOP saw us as pantywaist little girls! So the good point is that this reflects a minority of responsible gun owners. The bad point is that this man is a gun owner, an illiterate, paranoid, angry and misguided gun owner.

Congress Irresponsibility – Screw You Louisiana and the Gulf States!

Congress finally passed partial Sandy Relief bill last week. But not because they wanted to, but because Rep. John Boehner (R-OH) was excoriated for not bringing the full bill to a vote before they broke for the New Year. After being brought to his knees by furious New York, New jersey and Connecticut lawmakers, Rep. Boehner and the reluctant House of Representatives voted 354-67 to keep the National Flood Insurance Program solvent so those with insurance could get their claims reimbursed. This is still far from the 60 Billion that has been requested by the 3 states.

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And who the hell are the 67 Representatives that told the East Coast to go Eff themselves? Well Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) is one, but we already know what a complete asswipe he is. But shockingly, John Fleming (R-LA) from the 4th Congressional District, on the Gulf of Mexico is another.

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Rep. John Fleming

But of course, he was only too happy to be on the receiving end of emergency support after the Gulf got destroyed by Hurricane Katrina! The outrageous hypocrisy is a stunning testament to the kind of people we have in office now. Or maybe it’s just the Southern states (Florida, Alabama and Mississippi also refused to send us help) have forgotten how the Northeasterners raced to help out with the aftermath of Katrina. Maybe they “misremembered” how our lawmakers voted immediately to send federal dollars and federal help. Maybe they just could not care less about the Blueness of the Northeast and have no intention of being as open hearted and giving as we are. All I know is that we were there in their time of natural destruction and when we needed them, they’re response is Screw You!

On a side note, Rep. John Fleming isn’t a hater of just the Northeast, but (of course) of Muslims too.

The next vote is for the remaining 51 Billion in aid scheduled for January 15th. Let’s see if these 67 members of Congress can remember they work for the good of the country, not just the Red states. I have very little hope.

Michele Bachmann is back and still Intelligent!

Once again, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) has retained her congressional seat, barely.

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Michele and Marcus

And once again Rep. John Boehner has shown why he is such a Boner. Boehner has decided that there is no one else that can possibly be qualified enough to add to the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence so he will just keep Michele. I mean, with absolutely ZERO Female Chairmanships, (the Chairmen, standing back to back, look like a loaf of soft doughy Wonder bread.) I suppose he needed to add a little estrogen to the mix. And since Michele has been on that committee, why change? It’s the GOP mantra after all, Why Change?

And right on cue, the first thing my little lady did was introduce they very first bill of the 113th Congress! And it was…Repeal Obamacare! For the 33rd time! That’s right, no Sandy relief bill, but repeal a popular and ready to start health plan that has passed the Supreme Court test and is already helping millions of families and children. But we all know that Michele has no time for reality or common sense! The Repeal Obamacare frenzy has died down now that policies are being implemented and the public is seeing the benefits first hand.

But it still warms my heart to see how useless she is right off the bat. Personally, I hope she brings her superior brand of crazy front and center. I have missed her and her fabulous gay husband Marcus this past year!

Paul Ryan supports Zygotes owning guns.

OK, I took a little liberty with that statement, but Rep. Ryan actually believes that one cell is a person and should enjoy all the rights and freedom he does. As a citizen, a “one Celled Human Embryo” as he would call it, would enjoy healthcare, IRS deductions and can own a gun! This is how Laura Bassett explained things on The Huffington Post:

zygoteThe personhood bill, first introduced in 2011 by Rep. Paul Broun (R-Ga.) and reintroduced by Broun last week, specifies that a “one-celled human embryo,” even before it implants in the uterus to create a pregnancy, should be granted “all the legal and constitutional attributes and privileges of personhood.” Similar legislation has been rejected by voters in multiple states, including the socially conservative Mississippi, because legal experts have pointed out that it could outlaw some forms of birth control and in vitro fertilization as well as criminalize abortion at all stages.

Broun said in a statement that a zygote’s right to life should be “defended vigorously and at all costs.”

“As a physician, I know that human life begins with fertilization, and I remain committed to ending abortion in all stages of pregnancy,” he said. “I will continue to fight this atrocity on behalf of the unborn, and I hope my colleagues will support me in doing so.”

So ladies, after sex (yes, even you loose unmarried whores) call your accountant ASAP and get that zygote on your taxes as a dependent. Add him to your employers W-9! Get the most benefits you can by driving in the HOV lane! You are now 2 people driving, not just a singleton! Oh and when you have a miscarriage, you will need to line up a criminal attorney as you will be prosecuted as a murderer. Prove that your body didn’t abort that baby on purpose.

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