Entertation Index Jan. 14 – 25: Cera & Bieber Try Something New

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Twice monthly, the CFR publishes a condensed, best-of-the-best version of The Brown
Tweed Society
‘s acclaimed Entertation Index. It compiles the best dish, gossip and celebrity news filtered via Brown Tweed’s unique sensibility.

And so, the Entertation Index, Jan. 14 – 25:

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Batmobile, The – The original Batmobile recently sold to an Arizona businessman for $4.2 million, or $1 for every lazy headline that will use either an onomatopoeic action word or a “Holy _____, Batman!”

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Link: Batmobile Sold (The Guardian)

Bieber, Justin – The pop star mooned his camera, posted the picture to Instagram, and got 86,000 likes before it was deleted. All 86,000 people are now being brought up on child pornography charges.

Link: Bieber Butt (Access Hollywood)

Cera Hair
Are you SURE it didn’t work?

Cera, Michael – The adorable Cera said he and Crystal Fairy cast mates boiled a cactus and drank the concoction to experience the mescaline high they would be filming, but that “it didn’t work…everyone was fine and nobody felt anything.” It’s OK, Michael. We’re not your parents, and you can be honest with us.

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Link: Cera Tries Drugs (Huffington Post)

Foster, Jodie – Upon receiving the prestigious Cecil B. DeMille Award at Monday night’s Golden Globes, Oscar-winning actress Jodie Foster hinted at a retirement from acting and then said she’d be back again, asked the audience for a wolf whistle, extolled the virtues of Mel Gibson, sort-of came out as gay, talked about having acted “since the Stone Age,” evoked Honey Boo Boo and said she’d “spank Daniel Craig’s bottom.” As bizarre as it was, however, it’s unanimously agreed that the rambling and incoherent speech still made more sense than Flightplan.

Link: Transcript of Jodie Foster’s Golden Globes Speech (LA Times)

4, Jurassic Park – Universal Pictures is committing to a June 13, 2014, release date for the 4th installment of the dinosaur movie franchise. It is reported that the 10 people who liked Jurassic Park III are excited.

Link: JP4 ETA (EW)

Hogan, Linda – Hulk Hogan’s ex was recently arrested for a DUI, but said she only had one glass of champagne. Hogan failed to mention that the one glass was a punch bowl.

Link: Hogan DUI (TMZ)

Gervais
Remember this? Guess not.

MacFarlane, Seth – So the creator of Family Guy and Ted is going to host the Oscars. Early reviews are not so great, and there’s apparently a lot of anxiety over delivery, his reliance on “insults rather than insights,” and his unpredictability. People, it’s Seth fucking MacFarlane. Did you learn nothing from Ricky Gervais hosting the Golden Globes? Or do you expect Seth MacFarlane to be Not Seth MacFarlane?

Link: MacFarlane to Host Oscars (L.A. Times)

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Radcliffe, Daniel – Harry Potter has shocked some fans with his gay sex scenes in Kill Your Darlings, fueling rumors that Radcliffe may be homosexual. The portrayal of characters who may behave differently from the actor is known as “acting,” and it may shock those same people to know that Daniel Radcliffe is not actually a wizard.

Link: Radcliffe Not As Harry Potter (MTV)

Roker, Al – During a recent interview with NBC’s Dr. Nancy Snyderman concerning the weatherman’s gastric bypass procedure, Al Roker regaled Snyderman with a harrowing tale of passing a little more than gas during a trip to the White House to meet President Obama. “I’m walking to the press room,” Roker said, “and you know, I gotta pass a little gas here. So I’m walking by myself, who’s going to know? Only a little something extra came out.” In the weather game, this is what’s known as “precipitation moving out of the south.”

Link: Al Roker Lets Out a Secret (Salon)

Sundance – Ultra-conservative Utah watchdog group The Sutherland Institute has reacted in protest to the lineup of films of this year’s Sundance Film Festival – which includes Deep Throat biopic Lovelace and Naomi Watts’ Two Mothers, which is about what you’d think it’s about – by calling the proceedings “obscene” and “objectionable.” The outrage also owes widely to the fact that there are no movies based on a brief list of roughly seven things Utahns don’t consider “obscene” and “objectionable.”

Link: Conservative Utah Group Objects to “Obscene” Sundance Lineup (HuffPo)

Swift, Taylor – The rabid fan base of Grammy-winning pop-country singer Taylor Swift have taken to Twitter in a massive an all-out campaign against 30 Rock‘s Tina Fey after Fey made a joke at Taylor’s expense during Monday’s Golden Globes. I don’t know, this all seems like a lot more trouble than, say, taking fourteen minutes to write a thinly veiled song about someone who made you feel bad, which is generally how the Swift camp reacts to hurt feelings.

Link: Taylor Swift Fans are Very Mad at Tina Fey for Golden Globe Remarks (Uproxx)

Vase, Chinese – An eighteenth-century Chinese vase, which was created for the Qianlong Emperor and which sold two years ago at an art auction for a whopping $83 million sold again recently to another art collector for reportedly half the price, prompting art expert discourse worldwide on how the interest in an item can massively drive up auction prices. See? I told you it pays to shop at Qing Dynasty Big Lots.

Link: Chinese Vase Said to Sell for Less than Half its Record-Setting Price (NY Times)

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Read the full Entertation Index only at The Brown Tweed Society, where you’ll find thoughtful pop culture news, trends and commentary. Follow TBTS on Twitter @browntweed.

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