Entertation Index Dec. 31 – Jan. 11: Kimye Breaks the Internet

Gaga + Kermits
"So, what would you like to talk about today?"

Twice monthly, the CFR publishes a condensed, best-of-the-best version of The Brown
Tweed Society
‘s acclaimed Entertation Index. It compiles the best dish, gossip and celebrity news filtered via Brown Tweed’s unique sensibility.

And so, the Entertation Index, Dec. 31 – Jan. 11:

Story continues below.

Gaga + Kermits
“So, what would you like to talk about today?”

Gaga, Lady – The wearer of meat-suits and Kermit dresses will continue her outreach to troubled teens by offering free counseling at stops on her Born This Way Ball tour in 2013. Man, those are going to be some messed up therapy sessions.

Link: The Dr. Is In (Rolling Stone)

Kardashian, Kim – See The Brown Tweed Society’s Special Kim and Kanye Baby Edition for commentary on the most important thing to happen ever in the world.

Link: Kimye Impending Offspring (The Brown Tweed Society)

Lohan, Lindsay (a) – Lohan landing in London got the media in a tizzy, with many outlets speculating that she was there to join reality TV show Celebrity Big Brother. Sources say that this is untrue, mainly because Lohan has a court date next month. Also, Lohan may have commented, “you can’t get any good blow on that set anyway.”

Link: Lohan Probably Not Doing Celebrity Big Brother (TMZ)

Lohan, Lindsay (b) – The noted party animal is still crushing clubs in 2013. When leaving Base in London (still) at 5am a few days ago, she accidentally showed a huge bruise on her left arm. Sources say that it could be the result of a tumble, or 57 needle sticks.

Link: Lohan Bruised (Daily Mail)

Metallica: high fashion
Not James Hetfield too!

Mustaine, Dave – The Megadeth frontman ripped into Men’s Wearhouse on the band’s Facebook page to complain that a gift for his tour manager did not arrive in time: “We are all living in very tight financial times right now, and like I said, you may not wear a suit for your job or for an event or occasion, but if you do, I would strongly recommend you wear someone else’s suits.” I wonder what 21-year-old Metallica shredder Dave Mustaine would think about 51-year-old Dave Mustaine complaining on Megadeth’s Facebook page about a delayed gift from a suit store? Kill Em All, Dave!

Link: Mustaine Unhappy With Men’s Wearhouse (EW)

Passenger, Drunk Airline – An Icelandic airline had to tape an unruly passenger to his seat and tape his mouth shut after he allegedly drank an entire bottle of liquor and got completely crunked. His name has not yet been released, but Gary Busey’s alibi is reportedly not checking out.

Link: Air Dronk (Gawker)

Sheen, Charlie – The Anger Management star was seen in Mexico in late December kissing porn star Georgia Jones. Gross! Multiple partners, nasty habits, God knows what diseases? I can’t believe anyone would kiss Charlie Sheen.

Link: Sheen in Georgia (E! Online)

Slater, Christian – It’s not been the greatest year for the Heathers star, but this may take the cake. Apparently, Slater starred in a small horror film called Playback that has the ignominious distinction of being the lowest-grossing movie of 2012 at…$264. Total. I didn’t know that was even possible. For comparison, I alone got 25 people to buy tickets for Zombie Planet.

Link: Slater Movie Bombs (Movieline)

Villaraigosa, Antonio – The mayor of Los Angeles partied with Charlie Sheen during the grand opening of a bar promoted by the troubled actor. How do we know? From a photo that Sheen tweeted. A big-city mayor being photographed tearing it down with Charlie Sheen: we may have found someone with poorer judgment than Sheen himself.

Link: Mayor + Sheen (Inquisitr)

Watson, EmmaPeople reveals that the Harry Potter actress resolves every year to speak French fluently, and says that there is one thing she’ll “do anything for”: a warm baguette. You may admit to yourself that you thought there was a slim chance it was “your love.”

Link: Watson’s True Love (People)

West, Kanye – The outspoken singer gave fans in Atlanta something to talk about when he ranted for a while about the Grammys, and put on a full-face crystal mask. Nice try, Kanye, but you’re not going to out-crazy Lady Gaga (see above).

Link: Wild West (The Hollywood Gossip)

Read the full Entertation Index only at The Brown Tweed Society, where you’ll find thoughtful pop culture news, trends and commentary. Follow TBTS on Twitter @browntweed.