Entertation Index, October 15-26: Cursing on TV

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This is what happened to every child in America upon hearing Tom Hanks curse on live TV. I hope you're happy, Tom.

Twice monthly, the CFR publishes a condensed, best-of-the-best version of The Brown
Tweed Society
‘s acclaimed Entertation Index. It compiles the best dish, gossip and celebrity news filtered via Brown Tweed’s unique sensibility
.

And so, the Entertation Index, October 15-26:

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Dogg, Snoop – Rapper Snoop Dogg, who once crooned the classic Chronic line “1-8-7 with my dick in your mouth” is encouraging fans to put something else in their mouths: Hot Pockets. D-O-double-G has recorded a promotional video for the microwaveable snacks called-wait for it-“Pocket Like It’s Hot.” Yes, seriously. May the sommelier recommend pairing this with Dr. Dre’s similarly cash-grabbing Dr. Pepper commercial for dinner tonight?

Link: Snoop Wants You to “Pocket Like It’s Hot” (Adweek)

Factor, X – Fox announced Tuesday that beginning in November, former X Factor host Steve Jones will be replaced by the only two people who can handle such a weighty and magnificent challenge-Mario Lopez and Khloe Kardashian Odom. If you don’t already watch The X Factor, the following news may mean nothing to you; however, if you are a seasoned X Factor viewer, rest assured this change will be barely noticeable because you’re already used to watching a load of crap.

Link: Lopez, Kardashian to Host “The X Factor” (Businessweek)

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5, Terminator – The sequel to the sequel to the sequel to the sequel of Terminator is on hold due to lack of a workable script, among other things. After the disaster that was Terminator Salvation, we ask you to take as much time as you need to put together a script that doesn’t involve a cute-mute little kid, a shitty plot-line with subplot “twists” as predictable as the tides, and a heart transplant treated like a field dressing.

Link: T5 On Hold (Moviehole)

Gosselin, Kate – If you’ve spent your days depressed and forlorn since Jon and Kate Plus Eight ended, wondering what happened to cray-cray √ºber-mom Kate Gosselin, the Index has news for you. Gosselin returned to the news again yesterday after she was fired from her “blogging job” at a website called CouponCabin.com. To put this news in couponing terms, it’s safe to say Gosselin’s career these days is currently 80% off.

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This is what happened to every child in America
upon hearing Tom Hanks curse on live TV.
I hope you’re happy, Tom.

Link: Kate Gosselin on Being Fired from Coupon Cabin: “No Worries!” (Yahoo)

Hanks, TomGood Morning America host Elizabeth Vargas asked the Cloud Atlas star to speak in one of his characters’ accents. Hanks warned that most of the lines involved swear words, but complied and accidentally said, “I want people to fucking…” He immediately stopped himself and apologized, saying, “Man oh man, I’m sorry. I have never done that before. I want to apologize to the kids in America that are watching this right now…” The kids in America replied, “It’s no big fucking deal. We’ve heard it before.”

Link: Hanks Curses (People)

Kristel, Sylvia – The actress famous for her role in sensual movie series Emmanuelle has died of cancer. Kristel was Dutch and the movie was filmed in Thailand, so she didn’t think many would see it: “I was nervous, but then my boyfriend said: ‘Who’s going to watch this film? It will never pass censorship.'” Kristel couldn’t have foreseen the rise of late-night HBO and Cinemax.

Link: Emmanuelle Star Dies (Boston.com)

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Lohan, Lindsay – Reports that Lohan missed her audio-dialogue replacement (ADR) session for The Canyons had screenwriter Brett Eason Ellis tweeting, “Patrick Bateman has just headed over to Lindsay Lohan’s hotel to confront her as to why she missed her fucking ADR on The Canyons today…” When asked why the supposed tardiness on the set of a movie described on IMDB.com as “Youth, glamor, sex and Los Angeles, circa 2012,” Lohan reportedly replied, “Duh. It’s called acting!”

Demi Lovato
“I am dating Demi Lovato.”
Your move, Demi.

Link: Lohan Late? (Jezebel)

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Lovato, Demi X Factor judge Lovato is denying rumors that she is dating One Direction member Niall Horan. OK people, if you want your name in the news, just start a rumor that you’re dating Demi Lovato, and she’ll have to issue a press release that she’s not dating you.

Link: Lovato Denial (Us Magazine)

Neeson, Liam and James, Kevin – Huffington Post explores the connections between the careers of comedy actor James and currently action-star actor Neeson. We’ll boil it down: Neeson is great at awesomely beating the shit out of people and/or wolves, and James is awesome at…well, beats the shit out of me.

Link: Neeson & James (Huffington Post)

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Trump, DonaldCelebrity Apprentice host and perpetual self-aggrandizer Donald Trump has apparently reached the pinnacle of importance as per a comment he tweeted on Wednesday stating, “My twitter has become so powerful that I can actually make my enemies tell the truth.” In response, Donald Trump’s enemies all shrugged, remarking “What, you thought we were lying when we said we hated you? Congratulations, Wonder Woman.”

Link: Trump Watch (The Daily Beast)

Zarin, Jill – The former Real Housewives of New York City star has opened up to Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Bravo talk show host Andy Cohen about her firing after season four, saying that she was “heartbroken” and the ousting “felt like my funeral,” even going so far to rue the consequences on her dog Ginger. Hey Jill, chin up! We hear there’s an opening at Coupon Cabin.

Link: Jill Zarin – Getting Fired from Real Housewives “Felt Like My Funeral” (Us Weekly)

Read the full Entertation Index only at The Brown Tweed Society, where you’ll find thoughtful pop culture news, trends and commentary. Follow TBTS on Twitter @browntweed.