Entertation Index, Oct. 1-12: Magic & Snakmasters


Twice monthly, the CFR publishes a condensed, best-of-the-best version of The Brown
Tweed Society
‘s acclaimed Entertation Index. It compiles the best dish, gossip and celebrity news filtered via Brown Tweed’s unique sensibility

And so, the Entertation Index, October 1-12:

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Seriously. Take as much time as you need.

Armstrong, Billie Joe – After his well-publicized on-stage hissy fit at Las Vegas’ iHeartRadio music festival this past weekend, Green Day frontman Billie Joe Armstrong has announced that he’s checking himself into rehab. When asked to comment, the general public shrugged and said “Look, we’ve seen a lot of Green Day over the last ten years. We could probably use a break from Green Day, too. So take your time. We’re good here.”

Link: Billie Joe Armstrong Rants in Las Vegas, Off to Rehab (LA Times)

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Bieber, Justin – During a recent concert in Glendale, AZ, the Biebs puked onstage during “Out of Town Girl.” Reporters didn’t see what the big deal was, since that’s what he sounds like every time he sings live.

Link: Biebs Barfs (CBS News)

Championship, European Beard and Moustache – Competitors from all over Europe arrived in Wittersdorf, France for the first-ever European Beard and Moustache Championship, which honors impressive facial hair and those who grow it. It’s a big month for Wittersdorf as plumbers from across the continent arrive next week for the European Clogged Hotel Shower Drain Championship.

Link: Beard and Moustache Championship Brings Hundreds of Competitors to France (CBC)

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Cyrus, Miley – Pop star Miley Cyrus – and her new blonde hairdo – are slated to appear on an episode of CBS’ Two and a Half Men this coming season in a role that allegedly demands her to be in various bikinis and lingerie. Because we all know that the key to staying hip, edgy and relevant is guest-appearance on Two and a Half Men.

Link: Miley Cyrus Gets Seriously Sexy for “Two and a Half Men” (Popoholic)

Iver, Bon – Folk star frontman Justin Vernon tells Minnesota Public Radio that acclaimed group Bon Iver is “winding down” and that he has to “turn it off and walk away from it.” This is undoubtedly great news for those of you who routinely scour Wisconsin garage sales looking for cable knit sweaters. You’re about to hit the mother lode.

Link: Justin Vernon Talks to David Campbell About Eau Claire and the Success of Bon Iver (MN Public Radio)

Kardashians, The – As news surfaces of a Kanye West sex tape in which the rapper frolics with an eighteen year-old girl who bears a striking resemblance to Kim Kardashian, the Kardashian clan has taken all the news in stride, laughing and calling it “no big deal.” “After all,” they added, “everyone knows that’s how you and your entire family get four reality shows, a fashion line, a chain of retail boutiques and billions of dollars in endorsements, right?”

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Link: The Kardashians Don’t Care About Kanye West Sex Tape (Radar Online)

You could use the word “magic” to describe the album. You would be wrong.

Ke$ha – The “Tik Tok” singer told radio personality Ryan Seacrest that the theme of her new album is “magic,” telling Seacrest that she went around the world on a boat, rehabilitated baby lions and swam with great white sharks – and that by “went around the world on a boat, rehabilitated baby lions and swam with great white sharks,” she means “drank a lot of vodka, had a lot of sexual partners and woke up on the bathroom floors of a lot of bars down at the wharf.”

Link: Ke$ha “Die Young” Hits Airwaves (HuffPo)

Lohan, Lindsay – The Mean Girls actress alleges that congressional aide Christian LaBella assaulted her in a NYC hotel after she invited him to party with her group. LaBella claims that a minor scuffle occurred when Lohan tried to delete pictures of her from his cell phone. Lohan maintains, however, that LaBella attacked her when he disagreed with her stance on President Obama’s seemingly hesitant use of American operational and covert military assets in Libya’s 2011 revolution, and how that may have led to that country’s current anti-Western violence.

Link: Lohan’s Tussle (NY Daily News)

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MacFarlane, Seth – The American Dad creator had no doubts leading up to Obama’s debate performance last week, saying that the President could show up “with his penis out” and still win. Whatever you think about Obama’s showing, MacFarlane probably already has a 4-minute Family Guy bit about it ready to go.

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Link: MacFarlane Predicts (Raw Story)

Madonna – During a recent concert in Washington D.C., pop songstress Madonna took some time to talk politics with the crowd, announcing “We have a black Muslim in the White House, now that’s some amazing sh*t.” President Obama responded by drafting a government order for Madonna to just shut up and go away, which was signed almost immediately by every Democratic and Republican member of Congress and voted in unanimously by everyone in the country.

Link: Madonna – Obama is a “Black Muslim in the White House,” Deserves Votes (HuffPo)

Montag, Heidi – Remember her? Come on, she needs you to remember her. Former The Hills actress and plastic surgery aficionado Montag will headline strip club Crazy Horse III’s line up in Las Vegas on October 19. Don’t act surprised. This is exactly how you imagined things would end for her.

Link: Montag On Stage Again (TMZ)

Spears, Britney – The “Toxic” singer is still chafing under tight internet and cell phone restrictions instituted as part of her conservatorship granted to her father in 2008. Family members say the monitoring is meant to keep her away from former manager Sam Lufti, but others say she can’t be trusted after she got hammered and ordered 55 Snakmasters online.

Link: Spears Still Under Conservatorship (Mercury News)

Read the full Entertation Index only at The Brown Tweed Society, where you’ll find thoughtful pop culture news, trends and commentary. Follow TBTS on Twitter @browntweed.