Entertation Index, July 23-August 3: Kennedy Reject

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Taylor Swift
Uh oh. Now you've done it. Get ready for a thinly veiled, snarky revenge song about how you did her wrong, Kennedy Mansion.

Twice monthly, the CFR publishes a condensed, best-of-the-best version of The Brown
Tweed Society‘s acclaimed Entertation Index. It compiles the best dish, gossip and celebrity news filtered via Brown Tweed’s unique sensibility
.

And so, the Entertation Index, July 23 – August 3:

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Anatomy, Grey’s – In a development on a show I didn’t know people watched anymore, McSteamy (Eric Dane) is leaving. This means that only McDreamy, McCreamy, and Drooly Spice remain.

Link: McSteamy McLeaving (EW)

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Awards, Teen Choice – Millions of people under the legal drinking age recently watched this year’s Teen Choice Awards, so People magazine helpfully offered a recipe for a non-alcoholic Acai Fizz “mocktail.” Cute! Now your kids can spike it with the vodka they know you hide at the back of the top shelf of the pantry.

Link: I’ll Drink to Selena Gomez (People)

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Carey, Mariah – Upon official news that American Idol judge Jennifer Lopez will be leaving her judge’s chair and not returning for the show’s twelfth season, it’s been announced that twin-bearer and Grammy winner Mariah Carey will be stepping in to fill her shoes. Needless to say, a stunned America was astonished to find out that Mariah Carey and Jennifer Lopez are, in fact, two different people.

Link: Mariah Carey Joins American Idol as a New Judge (American Idol)

Catwoman – As Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight Rises is a bona fide smash, actress Anne Hathaway, who plays Catwoman in the film, has hinted to reporters that she’d be game for a spin-off film focusing on the female burglar. When reached for comment, both Michelle Pfeiffer and Halle Berry quipped, in unison, “Yeah, good luck with that.”

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Lee D
Remember this guy?
Well, that’s understandable.

Link: Anne Hathaway Up For Catwoman Spin-Off (ShortList Magazine)

DeWyze, LeeAmerican Idol Season 9 champion DeWyze married model-actress Jonna Walsh a couple weekends ago. You probably (don’t) remember him as the one with all the ‘e’s in his name, and who apparently everyone, except everyone you know, voted for.

Link: DeWyze De-Bached (EW)

Dogg, Snoop – The famous rapper has been banned from Norway for two years due to a pot bust. Unknown to Snoop, Norway apparently does not allow possession of bronze head sculptures of Cambodian Maoist revolutionaries.

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Link: Snoop Banned (Daily Mail)

J, Ray – Kim Kardashian’s ex-boyfriend and sex tape co-star Ray J made fun of some of her relatively uplifting and introspective tweets that might actually speak to some of her acolytes. Make fun if you will, Mr. J, but Kim Kardashian is known as “Multimillionaire For Whatever Reason Kim Kardashian,” and you are known, if at all, as “Brandy’s Brother and, Wait, Was He The Dude from Kim K’s Sex Tape?”

Link: Ray J Needles (Hollywood Life)

Musical, Ghost: the – I’m not sure how to break this to you, and I hope you’re sitting down, but the poorly reviewed Broadway show Ghost: The Musicalbased on the 1990 Patrick Swayze film-will be closing on the Great White Way on August 18 after 136 performances. Inside sources say the producers knew this time was coming; every single person who ever wanted to see a musical based on the movie Ghost has now officially seen it, and there’s just no one else left.

Link: Broadway’s “Ghost the Musical” to Close on August 18 (CBS News)

Normal, The New – Conservative anti-gay group “One Million Moms” is currently attacking NBC’s upcoming fall sitcom The New Normal, which features the premise of a gay couple who use a surrogate to have a child. Poor, poor NBC. They can’t even rip off ABC’s Modern Family right.

Taylor Swift
Uh oh. Now you’ve done it. Get ready for a thinly veiled, snarky revenge song about how you did her wrong, Kennedy Mansion.

Link: Ryan Murphy’s New NBC Sitcom Draws Anti-Gay Protest (EW)

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Swift, Taylor – Country-pop juggernaut Taylor Swift has allegedly been banned from staying at the Kennedy Mansion-courtesy of Ted Kennedy’s widow Vicki. Amid rumors that Swift is currently dating Patrick Schwarzenegger (son of Arnold, obviously), an overnight stay at the iconic residence was rumored to have been nixed by Mrs. Kennedy, who reportedly fears the overnight guest would jeopardize the estate’s non-profit status. If this story is true, more notably, it will mark the first time in history that a 5’11‚Ä≥, 22 year-old blonde didn’t have an open invitation at the Kennedy mansion.

Link: Taylor Swift Caught in Kennedy Feud, Forbidden to Sleep at Kennedy Mansion (HuffPo)

Read the full Entertation Index only at The Brown Tweed Society, where you’ll find thoughtful pop culture news, trends and commentary. Follow TBTS on Twitter @browntweed.