Entertation Index, June 25-July 6: Thong Th’ Thon’ Thon’ Thong

The thong: trusted confidante, or back-stabbing frenemy?

Twice monthly, the CFR publishes a condensed, best-of-the-best version of The Brown
Tweed Society
‘s acclaimed Entertation Index. It compiles the best dish, gossip and celebrity news filtered via Brown Tweed’s unique sensibility.

And so, the Entertation Index, June 25-July 6:

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Cher – Pop music grandmother Cher announced this week that she plans to turn her career and music into an autobiographical Broadway show which will follow her career from a solo artist in the seventies to her work with partner Sonny Bono and her present day incarnation. So you can pay $178 dollars for a Cher show on Broadway, or you could just go down to Chelsea and pay a five dollar cover charge to find 5,000 drag queens who are more convincing and know her schtick and music better than she could ever remember it. Your call. Just trying to save you some money.

Link: Cher Planning to Write, Star in Autobiographical Broadway Show (CNN)

Fists, The Man With the Iron – Did you ever wonder what Mortal Kombat would have looked like with Wu Tang’s RZA writing and directing? Well, this trailer for The Man With the Iron Fists pretty much shows you. As with all things RZA, this is probably NSFW. Oh, and while we’re on the RZA train, you should check out his audition for the part of Leslie Knope on TBTS favorite Parks and Recreation. (h/t to Paul the Geek). Definitely NSFW.

Link: RZA’s Directorial Debut (IGN)

Ke$ha – “Tik Tok” singer Ke$ha took to her Twitter account on Tuesday to reveal a photo of her latest tattoo, written on the inside of her lower lip and reading simply “SUCK IT.” Sources say the musician chose that succinct phrase because there just wasn’t enough room inside her lower lip to inscribe “I AM SUCCESSFULLY GETTING BACK AT MY PARENTS.”

Link: Ke$ha’s New Lip Tattoo (SF Gate)

Kittens, Album Covers as Recreated by – From the “you just can’t stop looking at it” department comes today’s bit of sunshine for even the most jaded of music hipsters: classic album covers re-staged using kitty cats. Finally the two opposite ends of the web meet – fanboys and kittens. The internet has been completed, everyone!

Link: The Kitten Covers (Tumblr)

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Knockoffs, Movie – Ever wonder how the direct-to-video releases can get away with a movie like Snakes on a Train or Titanic II without copyright infringement? Or who actually watches those kinds of things? Turns out it’s a clever marketing trick that low-budget studios use in order to trick viewers into buying the wrong DVD. Check out the L.A. Times’ fascinating look into the strategy behind it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to return this copy of The Revengers, starring Robin Downing Jr. as Argon Man.

Link: Movie Knockoffs are Chips off the New Blockbusters (LA Times)

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Lips, The Flaming – The Lips just eclipsed Jay-Z’s old record of seven shows in 24 hours by doing eight in the same time frame. To count as a “show,” The Guinness Book of World Records says each performance must take place in a different city. This knocked a disappointed Phish out of the running, who say they take dozens of trips at every show.

Link: Flaming Lips Best Jay-Z’s Record (Paste)

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Mike, Magic – The stars of stripper movie Magic Mike opined on the movie’s main costume, with Matthew McConaughey saying, “It’s a huge leap of faith to trust a thong,” and Channing Tatum echoing that sentiment with, “Sometimes a thong completely betrays you.” Joe Manganiello may have hit on something important, though, when he said, “It’s hard to take yourself seriously with an American flag thong on with a strategically placed sparkler on the end of it.” This probably explains why the 112th United States Congress has accomplished so little after instituting Thong Mondays.

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The thong: trusted confidante,
or back-stabbing frenemy?

Link: Magic Mike’s Secret Weapon (People)

Richards, Denise – Actress Denise Richards, who will be appearing on ex-husband Charlie Sheen’s new FX sitcom Anger Management, tells Rolling Stone that the former couple are “in a good place now” and “are like best friends.” When asked why the teaming seems to work, Richards allegedly told reporters that “it’s a great match: he’s an out of control madman and I’m a gullible idiot.”

Link: Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen Come Full Circle (CBS)

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Sheen, Charlie – After parting ways with Two and a Half Men and apparently reconciling with ex-wife Denise Richards (see above), Sheen’s Anger Management has done disturbingly well initially, actually increasing viewership from 5.5 million to 5.7 million from the pilot to the second episode. The only thing that gives me hope is to remember that the XFL did pretty well early on, too.

Link: Sheen’s New Show (EW)

Stars, Dancing With The – Dance pros Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Peta Murgatroyd are reported to be dating. There’s not really a joke here; I’m just surprised that “Murgatroyd” is more than a word uttered by Snagglepuss. If they marry, they would form the Chmerkovskiy- Murgatroyd union, which should be the name of a phenomenon in set theory or astrophysics or something.

Link: DWTS Stars Align (Us Magazine)

TomKat – By now you’ve heard that Katie Holmes has filed for divorce from Tom Cruise. The upside? Ridiculous political ads and frustratingly facile campaign analysis of the upcoming presidential campaign will now be the second most annoying media obsession for the next four months.

Link: TomKat Divorcing (Newsday)

Trebek, Alex – Popular Canadian and beloved game show host Alex Trebek was hospitalized after suffering a minor heart attack over the weekend. Thankfully, his doctors say the 71-year-old is expected to make a full recovery and move on to the next round, where the money and prizes will double.

Link: “Jeopardy!” Host Trebek Suffers Mild Heart Attack (Yahoo)

Read the full Entertation Index only at The Brown Tweed Society, where you’ll find thoughtful pop culture news, trends and commentary. Follow TBTS on Twitter @browntweed.