Entertation Index, Feb. 14-18: Atlas Slumped

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Each week, the CFR publishes a condensed, best-of-the-best version of The Brown Tweed Society‘s acclaimed Entertation Index.

It compiles the best dish, gossip and celebrity news filtered via Brown Tweed’s unique sensibility.

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And so…

The Entertation Index, Feb. 14-18:

Atlas Shrugged — This week saw the release of the full motion picture trailer for the upcoming film adaptation of Ayn Rand’s socially and industrially epic novel Atlas Shrugged. The trailer has reportedly surpassed 500,000 online views — but this being Ayn Rand, you know that 450,000 of those people are only saying they watched it.

Link: Atlas Shrugged Trailer (SlashFilm)

Barrino, Fantasia — The former American Idol winner told the Hollywood Reporter that she didn’t attend the Grammy ceremony as a boycott because she wasn’t asked to participate in the show’s tribute to Aretha Franklin. “I felt like, you know, at the end of the day I should have been on that stage,” Barrino told no one who was asking why she wasn’t at the Grammy Awards.

Link: Fantasia Barrino — Grammy Boycott Over Aretha Franklin (Hollywood Reporter)

Conrad, Lauren — The Hills star, author and fashion designer claims that her new reality series was passed on by MTV for being “too highbrow,” but that she’s fielding a number of offers from other networks. I don’t know which news is more troubling: that MTV now thinks Lauren Conrad is “too highbrow” or that there are “a number of offers from other networks” who really, really want a reality series about Lauren Conrad. Either way, it’s never been clearer that the Mayan apocalypse is nigh.

Link: Lauren Conrad Says She’s Fielding Network Offers For Her Reality Show (The Live Feed)

Foxx, Jamie — The Ray star was involved in an altercation at a party that featured Usher. Foxx has blamed the fight on the alcohol.

Link: Foxx Fights (TMZ)

Mansion, Playboy — Hugh Hefner’s famous party palace is being investigated after 80 people fell ill with suspected Legionnaires’ disease after attending a conference there. I’m not sure which is stranger: that “conferences” are hosted at the Playboy Mansion, or that its first outbreak of disease is Legionnaires’.

Montag, HeidiThe Hills actress laments that she has blown millions on a singing career that never got off the ground. To make that kind of money back she will have to blow millions and never get off the ground.

Link: Montag’s Misses (Huffington Post)

Simpson, Ashlee — The Other Simpson filed for divorce last Wednesday from Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz. Reports say that the couple was simply in “two different marriages,” apparently meaning that Wentz finally figured out he was married to Ashlee Simpson, and Simpson just realized she was married to Pete Wentz.

Link: Simpson, Wentz Split (Celebrific)

Smith, Kevin — When Seth Rogen smoked up Kevin Smith on the final day of shooting Zack and Miri, he gave the director more than just a joint: he blessed him with productivity. Smith says of that day with Rogen, “That dude gave me the greatest gift I’ve had in the last five years…the moment I start smoking, I start working.” Rogen also seems to have given Smith the ability to eat an entire box of ice cream sandwiches at one sitting.

Link: Smith’s Muse (MTV)

Spider-Man — After many major newspaper critics ripped into the end product of Julie Taymor’s expensive and belabored Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark this week, rumors abound that the production has hired a script doctor in Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa, a playwright who has actually penned Spider-Man stories for Marvel Comics. Aguirre-Sacasa is not to be confused, however, with the hundreds of actual medical doctors the musical keeps on call for each night’s performance.

Link: Spider-Man Producers Have Their Eye on a Script Doctor With Superhero Credentials (NY Times)

Watson — Watson, the IBM computer which played former Jeopardy champs Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter, tied its human competitors on night one and handily blew its competition away on night two of the series, scoring more than $30,000 more than its opponents. To be fair, though, the categories were “11010101110,” “1110101011110,” 110100010101,” “1110001010101‚Ä≥ and “Google Searches.”

Link: Watson Wins Jeopardy Day 2 Easily, with One Strange Stumble (Tecca)