Entertation Index, Nov. 22-Dec. 3: Larry King on His Throne

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Each week, the CFR publishes a condensed, best-of-the-best version of The Brown Tweed Society‘s acclaimed Entertation Index.

It compiles the best dish, gossip and celebrity news filtered via Brown Tweed‘s unique sensibility.

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And so…

The Entertation Index, Nov. 22-26 and Nov. 29-Dec. 3:

Cakes, Ace of – The Food Network has announced that its show Ace of Cakes, which has aired 10 seasons and 116 episodes, has been canceled. If this news actually bothers you, you are way too into cakes. And you will also be pleased to know there are still 47,000 programs of people baking cakes left on the air.

Link: Ace of Cakes CANCELED by Food Network (HuffPo)

Couric, Katie – The CBS Evening News anchor has been confirmed by Fox as a guest star in 2011‚Ä≤s post-Super Bowl episode of the network’s hit Glee. Couric accepted the show’s invitation largely by accident, as she was slightly groggy when she read the email and thought the name of the program was not Glee but Leggy, a program on which she was quite certain she’d be a huge hit.

Link: Katie Couric Confirmed to Guest Star on “Glee” (Hollywood Reporter)

Garfield – A new Internet, iPad and iPhone application will allow you to become a part of Jim Davis’ comic strip, starring alongside the lasagna-loving cat when you upload a picture of your face to insert into any number of Garfield comics. Because the only better way to say “I have nothing going on in my life right now” than forwarding Garfield comics is forwarding Garfield comics to friends in which you’ve taken the time to upload and add your own picture.

Link: Garfield Fans Become Part of the Strip (ABC News)

Fleiss, Heidi – After a Thanksgiving day fire ravaged the home of Heidi Fleiss, Hollywood’s notorious reformed madame says that though she lost her entire guest house and almost all her clothes in the $60,000 blaze, her 20 pet birds are all safe. We’re happy no one was injured in the fire, but we have to wonder why on earth someone would keep all those birds in a cathouse to begin with.

Link: Five-Figure Fire (TMZ)

Gaga, Lady – As more information spills from the Wikileaks investigation that revealed a quarter-million oft-controversial diplomatic cables by the State Department, Bradley Manning, the analyst blamed for leaking the documents, claimed he did so by bringing a Lady Gaga CD to work and lip-synching along to “Telephone” as he erased the disc and replaced it with leaked documents. Manning admitted that getting the information onto the CD was the easy part; the hard part was sneaking it out of the building under his meat dress.

Link: Lady Gaga, Wikileaks and :'( (Reuters)

King, Larry – Frequent Larry King Live guest and substitute host Joy Behar appeared last week on the show, when King said “I made you!” Commentators say he was joking, but it’s possible that the ancient King actually did make Behar.

Link: King “Made” Behar (Huffington Post)

Lohan, Lindsay – The rehabbing starlet returned to Twitter this weekend, publishing a quote from Vanilla Sky that she found inspirational. Then, like the rest of the movie, she mumbled something self-indulgent and incoherent.

Link: Lohan Tweets (PopSugar)

Lohan, Lindsay – The Freaky Friday star has reportedly been been axed from her purported role playing Deep Throat’s Linda Lovelace, as director Matthew Wilder has said he is pursuing other actresses for the part. This means that if Lindsay Lohan wants to be a cocaine-addicted train wreck it will, as always, have to remain on her own free time.

Link: Lohan Loses out on Lovelace Biographical Film (NY Times)

Martin, Steve – New York City’s intellectual and cultural center The 92nd Street Y is offering apologies and $50 refunds to those who recently attended a live interview/chat between New York Times writer Deborah Solomon and actor/author Steve Martin after the organization’s executive director claimed the interview “did not meet the standard of excellence” set forth by The 92nd Street Y. Consequently, New York’s actual 47th Street Y is also offering apologies for lewd behavior by a homeless man who had just peed his pants.

Link: Readers Weigh in on Y’s Decision to Give Refunds for Steve Martin Interview (NY Times)

Momsen, Taylor – The Gossip Girl actress and punked-out singer has been put on hiatus for the remainder of the season after Monday’s episode. In the interim, she will most likely be given a role as a zombie in The Walking Dead without even having to read for it.

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Link: Momsen on Hiatus (Deadline)

Nelson, Willie – The legendary country singer and hemp activist was arrested at a Texas border checkpoint when an officer smelled marijuana coming from Nelson’s tour bus. A search turned up 6 ounces of pot, which Nelson claimed was his. The officer, however, did not realize that the bus itself was made out of weed.

Link: Nelson Busted (Huffington Post)

Paltrow, Gwyneth – Paltrow told Chelsea Handler that to gain 20 pounds for her Country Strong role, she ate lots of fried food, drank a bunch of alcohol, and didn’t work out. This is known as the Brian Dennehy Diet.

Link: Gwyneth’s Diet (Huffington Post)

Pelletier, BronsonTwilight star Bronson Pelletier, who plays werewolf tribe member Jared in the film series, was struck, put into a headlock and headbutted after a drunken gang stumbled across the actor at Birmingham, England’s Eternal Twilight 4 Convention. Though Pelletier was at the time surrounded by self-proclaimed “vampires” and “werewolves,” the fans simply threw down their lunch money and ran home crying, as most Twilight fans have been conditioned to do.

Link: “Twilight” Star Attacked by Drunken Gang (DigitalSpy)

Police Department, Pittsburgh – Police detectives in Pittsburgh spent over eight hours of overtime investigating a hotel room crime scene which police chief J.R. Blyth called “the most grisly murder scene in his 35 years of law enforcement” before realizing it was a movie set from a 2008 film starring the late Corey Haim. Upon realizing their mistake, law enforcement units went back to investigating alleged acts of piracy and theft by the city’s baseball and football teams, respectively.

Link: Police Investigate Murder Before Discovering Bloody Scene Was Horror Movie Set (Daily Mail)

Stars, Dancing with the – The white powder found in an envelope recently sent to the L.A. production office of Dancing with the Stars turned out to be talcum powder. Had you asked what kind of white, powdery substance showed up at the office of a popular TV show in Los Angeles, “talcum powder” would not have been my first guess.

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Link: Powder to the People (Yahoo)

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Swift, Taylor – The singing sensation spent early Thanksgiving Day drinking maple lattes with boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal. She accidentally dumped pepper, mouse turds, and metal shavings into hers, but since she can do no wrong, this new flavor, “The Swiftie,” has become the most popular drink of all time and has sold 12 trillion units.

Link: Swift Spends Thanksgiving with Jake (People)

Trek, Star – Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci, screenwriters of the immensely popular 2009 Star Trek reboot, are watching episodes of the original TV series to find “inspiration.” This is industry speak for “ripping shit off.”

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Link: What’s the Next Star Trek About? (EW)

Tremont-Morgan, Sonja – The Real Housewife of New York recently filed for bankruptcy, which she blames on legal issues after an aborted movie project with John Travolta. A few months prior, Tremont-Morgan was arrested for DUI, which she blamed on watching Wild Hogs.

Link: Real Housewife Blames John Travolta (Celebuzz)

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Wilco – The beloved alt-country-rock band is teaming with Chicago’s Intelligentsia Coffee to brand and release its own brand of coffee called “Wilco Selects” in time for the holidays. And just as happens with Wilco, there will inevitably be one guy in your office who’s way too into it, won’t shut up about it and constantly tries to force watered-down bootleg coffees down your throat.

Link: For Sale – Wilco’s Own Brand of “Select” Coffee (Spinner)

WGN – Morning news anchors at the Chicago station get super-excited about watching a live bridge demolition, but the camera feed cuts away for a few seconds and they miss it. The crew goes ballistic. I completely understand: I had the same reaction when I missed the According to Jim Christmas episode.

Link: News Crew Implodes Over Missed Implosion (The Blaze)