Entertation Index, Oct. 4-8: Inside the Lindsay Institute

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The Clyde Fitch Report is pleased to introduce and welcome The Brown Tweed Society, created by Matt Shorr and C.M. Tomlin, to its family of contributors.

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Each week, the CFR will publish a condensed best-of-the-best version of the Brown Tweed Society’s acclaimed Entertation Index, which compiles the best dish, gossip and celebrity news filtered via Brown Tweed’s unique sensibility.

And so, the Entertation Index, Oct. 4-8:

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Generation, My – ABC cancelled the where-are-they-now series after only two episodes due to low viewership. Probably because, due to Facebook updates, My Generation‘s target demographic already knows exactly what everyone else from high school is doing right this instant.

Link: My Generation Cancelled (EW)

Kardashian, Kourtney – Kim and Khloe’s sister wants another child, but says it may be difficult because post-pregnancy sex can be painful for her and she’s embarrassed to buy lubrication. In fact, the last lube she used was a few years ago when the Kardashians crammed themselves into America’s televisions.

Link: Kardashian Wants Another (Huffington Post)

Lohan, Lindsay – The actress has entered the Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage, CA, and will follow a strict daily regimen: 7am wake up call, 7:30am breakfast, 8am meditation, 9am group therapy, 11am individual therapy, noon lunch, 1pm grief group, 3pm exercise, 4pm meetings, 6pm dinner, and 10pm lights out. This will be a major change for Lohan, whose schedule before rehab was

  1. 2pm-11:59pm: wake up. Shop.
  2. 12am-6am: get hammered, use illegal drugs. Drive.

Link: Lohan in Rehab (Radar Online)

Mars, Bruno – “Just the Way You Are” singer Bruno Mars will appear in court next month on felony cocaine charges stemming from a September arrest in Las Vegas. His label Elektra Records issued a statement saying, “We congratulate Bruno Mars on his chart-topping success, and provide him with our full love and support.” Note: in the music industry it is not uncommon for cocaine to be referred to as a “topping.”

Link: Mars To Face Charges (Huffington)

Meals, Happy – To protect the health of his constituents, San Francisco Supervisor Eric Mar has proposed legislation that would ban toys from McDonalds’ Happy Meals until the restaurants includes fruit and veggie portions and reduces calories. Mar is rumored to be targeting fun in general next.

Link: Not-So Happy Meals (Yahoo)

Shore, Jersey Entertainment Weekly recently brought back to light a bit of information reported by CNN in March concerning the premiere of Jersey Shore in Japan, where the reality program is actually translated to MTV Jersey Shore – The New Jersey Life of Macaroni Rascals. This isn’t the first time the Japanese translation of popular television shows has seemed peculiar, as you might recall Survivor (Naked Island Swimsuit Fight), Two and a Half Men (Sad Tales of Criminal and Nerd with Child) and 60 Minutes (Undead Zombie Reporters!). (Thanks to C.M.)

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Link: Jersey Shore Comes to Japan as “Macaroni Rascals” (CNN by EW)

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Snider, Dee – Reps for the Broadway smash Rock of Ages announced last week that geriatric former Twisted Sister front man Dee Snyder will join the cast as nightclub owner “Dennis” beginning on October 11. The show also formerly featured American Idol contestant Constantine Maroulis in the lead role. So, music fans, you have a choice: pay $95 to see Rock of Ages on Broadway any given night or just wait a few months and catch them playing at any number of Oklahoma county fairs and motor speedway events.

Link: He Still Wants to Rock: Dee Snider Joins “Rock of Ages” (NY Times)

Usher – The singer and his mother have patched things up, but he wishes she would have attended his wedding three years ago. It was a personal rift that led to her absence from the ceremony and not, contrary to popular belief, a disagreement over Usher’s wedding-décor decision to have “a bouquet of fresh booties at each table.”

Link: Usher Missed Mom At Wedding (Vibe)

Wars, Star – Lucasfilm has announced that the entire Star Wars saga – all six films, in order – would be re-released to theaters in 2012, each re-mastered in groundbreaking 3-D. So Star Wars fans, get ready to see your favorite films like you’ve never seen them, and….actually, you know what? At this point, it would probably be easier on both George Lucas and you just to send him a check for $40 every five or six months directly to Lucasfilm at P.O. Box 29901, San Francisco, California, 94129.

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Link: “Star Wars” Films Will Be Re-Released in 3-D (NY Times)

Wayne, Lil – Near the end of his Rikers Island stint on a gun charge, the rapper has been placed in solitary confinement as punishment for having headphones and an MP3 charger in his cell. Another inmate reportedly had the actual MP3 player in his possession. His punishment will reportedly be having nothing but Lil Wayne songs loaded onto the device.

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Link: Lil Wayne in Solitary (MTV)

Read each day’s full Entertation Index every morning only at The Brown Tweed Society, your daily stop for more thoughtful pop culture news, trends and commentary. Follow TBTS on Twitter @browntweed.