Entertation Index, Oct. 11-15: A Final Word on Cox-Arquette Etiquette

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The Clyde Fitch Report is pleased to introduce and welcome The Brown Tweed Society, created by Matt Shorr and C.M. Tomlin, to its family of contributors.

Each week, the CFR will publish a condensed best-of-the-best version of the Brown Tweed Society’s acclaimed Entertation Index, which compiles the best dish, gossip and celebrity news filtered via Brown Tweed’s unique sensibility.

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And so, the Entertation Index, Oct. 11-15:

Apprentice, Celebrity – The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, investigating from a tidbit from TMZ, has announced that the next season of The Celebrity Apprentice has been cast, and that the proceedings will feature Jose Canseco, Lil’ Jon, Richard Hatch, Star Jones, LaToya Jackson, Mark McGrath and Niki Taylor. The contestants, it goes without saying, will use their own prior business acumen to compete for an opportunity to run Donald Trump’s empire directly into the ground.

Link: Atlanta’s Lil’ Jon Joining Celebrity Apprentice (AJC)

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Beckham, David – MTV UK (which keeps waaaaay better tabs on the soccer star than anyone stateside) reports that Beckham and family were recently spotted in Philadelphia’s ritzy Barclay Prime restaurant, where he reportedly spent $100 on a particularly high-grade philly cheesesteak sandwich. While we respect the attention to the finer things, Becks, that seems like an awful lot of money to spend on something that your wife is only going to pretend to eat and secretly throw away later when you aren’t looking.

Link: David Beckham Spends $100 on a Sandwich (MTV UK)

Bourdain, Anthony – A subset of DC Comics called Vertigo has announced that culinary star Anthony Bourdain will be collaborating with illustrators to present a graphic novel called Get Jiro! which features a “mysterious top-notch sushi chef” targeted by those who wish to procure his secrets and, according to Vertigo, will be “a futuristic action thriller that takes America’s newfound obsession with exotic cuisine to a manic, violent extreme.” Time and time again we here at TBTS bemoan the state of the creative industry, but big ups to what sounds like a truly imaginative idea. I always knew the next great idea would come from a movie producer screenwriter television executive chef.

Link: Anthony Bourdain Cooks Up a Graphic Novel (Slashfood)

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Cox Arquette, Courteney – The Cougartown star and her husband since 1999, David Arquette, have announced their separation. Although it’s sad to see a seemingly happy marriage dissolve, we would be OK with not having to say “Courteney Cox Arquette” anymore.

Link: Cox, Arquette Separate (Life & Style)

Entourage – The Encino, California mansion once inhabited by Vincent Chase and his crew in HBO’s Entourage is up for sale for a reported $5.75 million. Much like the show itself, the home is said to be in great shape for the first four years, then desperately needs a coat of paint in the fifth year, another in the sixth year and by the middle of the seventh year it burns to the ground.

Link: Buy the Entourage House (Luxist)

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Handler, Chelsea – The late-night comedienne took to Twitter to quash rumors that she and rapper 50 Cent are dating, after they were seen together recently at a jazz club. If you’re wondering how 50 Cent is taking it, don’t worry: he’s been shot down before.

Link: Handler’s Hook-Up (MTV)

Kardashians, Some – Kim and Kourtney have brought their special brand of nothing to the Big Apple while they film their new reality show Kourtney and Kim Take New York. Upon hearing that news, the other 18,856,457 New Yorkers demanded to be retroactively cast in Escape From New York.

Link: Kim & Kourtney In NYC (San Francisco Examiner)

Men, Two and a Half – TMZ reveals that Angus T. Jones, best known as the young (actually, he’s 17 now and probably pushing the “cute kid” stereotype) nephew of Charlie Sheen on CBS’ Two and a Half Men, signed a deal earlier this year which could net him up to $14.4 million plus a $500,000 signing bonus over the next two seasons of the CBS tentpole sitcom. Yes, America, I’m as amazed and shocked as you are to learn this: Two and a Half Men has at least two more seasons.

Link: “Two and a Half Men” Kid Scores Massive Contract (TMZ)

Miners, Chilean – In a society where contestants willingly put themselves in tight, enclosed or far-flung places – hermetically protected by cameras and off-screen crews – last night we saw a far greater victory than in any reality television show. It was a victory over reality itself. On Wednesday, the last of thirty-three Chilean miners trapped underground for 69 days was brought to light, and our hearts, compassion and congratulations go to them and their relieved families. They are the true survivors, not some twenty-three year old bartender from L.A., and I’m sure we join the rest of the world thankful for this miracle over the odds. Welcome back, gentlemen. You didn’t miss much.

Link: Chile Completes Rescue of All 33 Miners (Voice of America)

Snooki – The Jersey Shore participant will begin two days of community service at Seaside Heights Community Center fundraiser by signing autographs for three hours…which will count toward her volunteer work. Officials have not explained how they will punish anyone who pays for Snooki’s signature.

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Link: Snooki Serves (TMZ)

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Read each day’s full Entertation Index every morning only at The Brown Tweed Society, your daily stop for more thoughtful pop culture news, trends and commentary. Follow TBTS on Twitter @browntweed.