Kirstie’s Back and We’re Gonna Be in Trouble…

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Rhea Perlman & Kirstie Alley together again!
Rhea & Kirstie — together again!

Yup, the TVJ’s favorite hot mess is back and better than ever! Followers of the TVJ are used to her obsession with all things Kirstie Alley and this new show is no exception. In Kirstie, our girl is cast as Madison Banks, a Tony Award-winning Broadway star who lives high and free (on a lot of levels) with her two paid-to-be-friends: Frank, her stoner driver, played by the much-missed Michael Richards, and her BFF, Thelma, played by the “how have we lived without her all these years,” Rhea Perlman. Enter Arlo Barth — the child that Maddie gave up for adoption 26 years before — and you have the makings of a show that only our girl Kirstie could pull off. And that she does! Her attempts to make up for abandoning her child (something about a really good part coming up and bye-bye Arlo) are hilarious. Richards is screamingly funny as Frank, who never met a joint he didn’t love (“I never mix alcohol with my weed. You think I’m an airplane pilot?”), which reminds us why we loved him so much on Seinfeld. As for Perlman, her Thelma is the perfect reality check for Maddie. In lesser hands, Arlo, played to perfection by Broadway’s Eric Petersen (Shrek, Peter & the Starcatcher), would be a buffoon, but he plays Arlo as a guy who is happy to work at a donut shop in Jersey and together enough to realize that, although his newfound mother is nuts, it comes from a place of love. It’s good to have our girl Kirstie back on the tube, where she belongs. Check out next week when Cloris Leachman plays Maddie’s estranged mother. That’s more cray-cray on one show than the TVJ can handle.

Yodelayheehoo…

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Audra McDonald shows Carrie Underwood how it's done!
Audra shows Carrie how it’s done!

Four words: The Sound of Music. How can the TVJ possibly add to what has already been posted on Facebook and Twitter by 723,842 bitchy theatre queens? Can Carrie Underwood act? Not even close. Did Laura Benanti, Audra McDonald and Christian Borle save the day? You bet! Was Stephen Moyer ok as Captain Von Trapp? Yes. Was the show a total loss? Not by a long shot, considering that 18.6 million people saw this live telecast. Having grown up with live TV, from Peter Pan to The Garry Moore Show to Cinderella, the concept of three hours of live TV with nary a hiccup sounds impossible, yet producers Neil Meron and Craig Zadan and company pulled it off. Was it the best Rodgers and Hammerstein ever? No, but the fact that a good portion of that 18.6 million have never even heard of Rodgers and Hammerstein and now they have an idea of what a Broadway musical is all about, made it worth it. As of today, plans are underway to mount another live Broadway musical in 2014. My vote goes to Fiddler on the Roof starring Harvey Fierstein. Hey, it wouldn’t hurt!

A Few Last Thoughts…
This Week on the Tube: How many corpses can you put on the head of a pin? In two weeks, the carnage included Clay Morrow (Ron Perlman) and Tara Teller (Maggie Siff) from Sons of Anarchy, Richard Harrow (Jack Huston) from Boardwalk Empire, Red John (Xander Berkeley) from The Mentalist, Joss Carter (Taraji P. Henson) from Person of Interest and the worst of all, Brian Griffin on Family Guy. Throw in Bonnie & Clyde and you’ve got a real bloody week.

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The cast of BBC America's Atlantis
The cast of BBC America’s Atlantis

Best TV Moment of the Week: The TVJ’s newest guilty pleasure is Atlantis, on the TVJ’s fave channel, BBC America. Seems this guy named Jason (why are they always named Jason?) has been looking for his father for years. He gets into a mini-sub and during an underwater search, disappears into a bright light, awakening on a beach in Atlantis. Yes, the Atlantis. It’s all Greek to me, but we do get to meet Pythagoras (he of the triangles) and a paunchy Hercules (“I’m just stocky and solid!”) played by the brilliant Mark Addy. And of course, there’s the Princess Ariadne (Alysha Hart), the doomed-to-eventual-snakedom Medusa (Jemima Rooper), the evil Queen (Sarah Parish) and the all-knowing Oracle (the divine Juliet Stevenson of Truly, Madly, Deeply fame) who knows Jason’s destiny and will hopefully guide him towards it. Led by Jack Donnelly as the ever-hunky and heroic Jason, with Robert Emms as the logical and wimpy Pythagoras and Addy as the always falling-down-drunk Hercules in tow, Atlantis is one fun, mythical ride.

brian-griffin-diesSaddest TV Moment of the Week: B-R-I-A-N!!!!

How could this have happened?

Who do we complain to? Seth MacFarlane, what were you thinking?

B-R-I-A-N!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

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The TV Junkie was preceded in her family by a large mahogany cabinet that housed a small screen with a large speaker below. Thus began her love affair with the older sibling in the living room. Theirs was a tenuous relationship, prone to mishaps (forgetting to use the special “screen” for Winky Dink), joyous events (Julie & Carol at Carnegie Hall), sad moments (Clarabelle saying goodbye to the Peanut Gallery) and a wide range of emotions (the funeral of John F. Kennedy and the Inauguration of Barack Obama). From Captain Video to Star Trek to Lost; from A Brighter Day to The Edge of Night to One Life to Live; from Peyton Place to Dynasty to Desperate Housewives; there has never been a greater love, than that of the TVJ and the best friend a girl could ever have. Like “The TV Junkie” on Facebook and follow her on Twitter: @thetvjunkiepml.