Entertation Index May 20-31: Bea Arthur in Repose
Twice monthly, the CFR publishes a condensed, best-of-the-best version of The Brown
Tweed Society‘s acclaimed Entertation Index. It compiles the best dish, gossip and celebrity news filtered via Brown Tweed’s unique sensibility.
And so, the Entertation Index, May 20 – 31:
Arthur, Bea – Last week saw Christie’s Auction House sell a 1991 painting by artist John Currin entitled Bea Arthur Naked and hypothesizing what the Golden Girls star may have looked like sans clothes for $1.9 million, which is bullshit because for years I’ve been giving away sketches of Rue McClanahan nude for free. Where’s my payday?
Link: Bea Arthur Naked Could Sell for $2.5 Million (The Daily Beast)
Bieber, Justin – The pop singer was recently booed at the Billboard Music Awards, and responded by saying that he is no flash in the pan: “This is not a gimmick. I’m an artist and I should be taken seriously.” Sure, why not. McNuggets are also technically considered “food.”
Link: Bieber Booed (Huffington Post)
Furlong, Edward – The Terminator 2 actor has been arrested for violating a restraining order filed by an ex-girlfriend. Furlong has also had such orders filed by an ex-wife and other ex-girlfriends-and has been arrested for violating some of those orders-proving that, unlike Skynet, he does not learn at a geometric rate.
Link: Furlong Arrested (E! Online)
Gatsby, The Great – It was merely passed over when F. Scott Fitzgerald first penned the novel, but over the years the success of The Great Gatsby as one of the great American books has led to countless adaptations, including Baz Luhrmann’s lavish retelling that clocked in with over $50 million dollars in its first weekend at the box office. HIGH SCHOOL TEACHERS TAKE NOTE: safe signs that your student only watched the movie and did not read the book include, but are not limited to, the following mentions: Tom Buchanan’s twerking, West Egg going HAM and Meyer Wolfsheim “popping mollies.”
Link: Great Gatsby Surprises Box Office with Fancy $51M Debut (MTV)
Miguel – The singer made an impression at last week’s Billboard Music Awards by miscalculating a jump and landing on two audience members. The fans didn’t think anything of it, and just figured that’s how they’re supposed to feel after listening to “Adorn.”
Link: Miguel Falls (Billboard)
Smith, Jaden – Yahoo.com’s entertainment section, aptly titled OMG because it has all the subtlety of an excitable eighth grader, has written that fifteen-year-old movie star Jaden Smith, son of Will and Jada Pinkett, has made a request known that he’d like to be “emancipated” from his parents and live on his own. Oh, that special coming of age, that time-honored tradition when a young son stars in a Karate Kid remake, acts alongside his father in a giant-budget summer tentpole space movie and then heads out to live on his own wisdom at age fifteen. Am I right, Dads everywhere? Seems like just yesterday you were making The Pursuit of Happyness, and visiting mom on the red carpet of the Madagascar 2 premiere. Time flies.
Link: Jaden Smith Wants to be Emancipated from Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith (Yahoo OMG)
Stodden, Courtney – Teen reality TV star and child bride Stodden admitted last week that she made a sex tape. Since Stodden has so far existed only to create and promote her a media persona, it would be more surprising if she didn’t have a sex tape.
Link: Stodden Sex Tape (Examiner)
Underwood, Carrie – Multiple Grammy-winner and ex-American Idol champ Carrie Underwood claims to have predicted her own fate in her high school yearbook when, in an interview with Marie Claire, the singer revealed that her plan was to be “rich, famous and married to a hot guy.” Other predictions that have come true from Underwood’s yearbook is that she “stayed the same and went far,” “never changed,” “kept on bein’ CRAZY” and “always remembered those funny times in Mr. Henderson’s class.”
Link: Carrie Underwood’s Yearbook Predictions Come True (Yahoo OMG)
Watson, Emma – The 23-year-old Harry Potter actress says she was in no rush to get to adulthood: “[I] never wanted to grow up too fast: I wanted to wear a sports bra until I was 22!” This is in contrast to a lot of her fans, who have wanted her not to wear anything immediately after she was 18.
Link: Watson Young (W Magazine)