Entertation Index Jan 28 – Feb 8: Larry & Katie

Twice monthly, the CFR publishes a condensed, best-of-the-best version of The Brown
Tweed Society
‘s acclaimed Entertation Index. It compiles the best dish, gossip and celebrity news filtered via Brown Tweed’s unique sensibility.

And so, the Entertation Index, Jan. 28 – Feb. 8:

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Bell, KristenHouse of Lies actress Bell sued Hollywood tequila bar L’Scorpion for breach of contract, claiming that, as an early investor, she has not received a fair share of the bar’s $30,000 per-month profits. The strangest part about this is that a tequila bar not located in South Padre Beach during Spring Break is making a profit.

Link: Bell Sues (NY Daily News)

Larry <3 Katie

Your loss, sweetheart!

Couric, Katie – Couric recounts that on a date with television personality Larry King 26 years ago, the talk-show host attempted to make a move, and “lunged” at her. King replied that Couric misinterpreted his actions, and that he had simply died for a moment and fell forward into her lap.

Link: Couric and King (NY Post)

Del Rey, Lana – Love-her-or-hate-her musical ingénue Lana Del Rey recently appeared as the cover story on something called Madame Figaro magazine (I’m sure you already have a subscription) and in the included interview mentioned to her profiler that she hopes to “become a sort of Angelina Jolie.” You’re already there, Lana! You’ve been way overhyped before actually doing anything artistic worth mentioning and people are still putting you on magazine covers without you actually doing or accomplishing anything real! You did it!

Link: Lana Del Rey on Her Future (Celebitchy)

Effect, The Norbit – Pop culture magazine Entertainment Weekly this week wonders if such a thing as “The Norbit Effect” exists, and if it causes otherwise deserving actors to lose Acadamy Award chances after an ill-timed movie leaves a bad taste in critics’ mouths. If this is true, it could bode poorly for Austrian director Michael Haneke, whose Oscar-nominated darling Amour could be overshadowed by the unfortunate recent release of his follow-up film Bernhard: Le Chef Qui P√®te (Bernhard: The Chef Who Farts).

Link: The Norbit Effect – 9 Oscar Killers? (EW)

Kutcher, Ashton – Kutcher says that portraying Apple co-founder Steve Jobs in the movie jOBS was “honestly one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever tried to do in my life.” Steve Jobs agreed, saying that Ashton Kutcher playing him in a movie was the most terrifying thing to happen in his life, including dying.

Link: Kutcher As Jobs (CBS)

Quaid Not in Canada

Come on, you’ve got room!

Quaid, Randy – After missing a court appearance, Quaid and his wife have been on the lam since 2010 and were recently denied their asylum request to Canada trying to avoid supposed “Hollywood star whackers.” Read that again: Quaid was too crazy for Canada. Randy, it’s time we had a talk…

Link: Quaid Denied Asylum (Washington Post)

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Seagal, Steven – Puffy-faced karate star Steven Seagal has appealed to Barack Obama to give a presidential pardon to his former business partner Julius R. Nasso, who was convicted of extorting millions of dollars from the actor after several project collaborations between the pair fell through. The president is reported to be mulling over a pardon of Nasso, but allegedly has no intentions of excusing Seagal for the films Hard to Kill, Out for Justice, Marked for Death and Under Siege.

Link: Steven Seagal Seeks Presidential Pardon for Convicted Producer (Starpulse)

Soderbergh, Steven – The Magic Mike director explains that the success of his male stripper flick was due to fan-fic sensation Fifty Shades of Grey debuting right before it, allowing female fantasy to go more mainstream. Maybe, but you probably don’t need to dig that deep. Explaining why a ton of women watched a movie stuffed with hot, naked, ripped dudes is as difficult to explain as why a bunch of young guys went to see Piranha 3DD.

Link: Soderbergh on Magic Mike‘s Success (Huffington Post)

Soleil, Cirque du – Montreal-based entertainment troupe Cirque du Soleil announced over the weekend that due to rising production costs for the company’s grandiose productions, it will be laying off four hundred people in the new year. Looks like it’s an even worse time than usual to be a team of five people who dress like a giant undulating caterpillar.

Link: Cirque du Soleil Announces Layoffs (NY Times)

Stallone, Sylvester – The man who played Rambo supports a new assault weapons ban: “Who … needs an assault weapon? Like really, unless you’re carrying out an assault. … You can’t hunt with it. … Who’s going to attack your house, a (expletive) army?” He then single-handedly saved all of Afghanistan from the Soviets.

Link: Stallone Supports Broader Gun Control (Oregon Live)

Swift, Taylor – Pop-country superstar Taylor Swift is, according to gossip columns, getting tired of constant joking about her active dating activities, with sources stating that the kidding is taking an “emotional toll” on the singer. You can learn more about this in Swift’s upcoming single “Stop Making Jokes About My Love Life, Anonymous Populace of a Large English-Speaking Country.” It’s always fun to see if you can guess who she’s talking about!

Link: Taylor Swift Hates Love Life Jokes (Showbiz Spy)

Tuiasosopo, Ronaiah – Mega-hoaxster Tuiasosopo went on Dr. Phil to express his sorrow and regret for the prank he pulled on Notre Dame football star Manti Te’o, proving that it is impossible to correctly type “Ronaiah Tuiasosopo” without cut-and-paste.

Link: Tusosopepaeo Apologizes (TMZ)

Read the full Entertation Index only at The Brown Tweed Society, where you’ll find thoughtful pop culture news, trends and commentary. Follow TBTS on Twitter @browntweed.

COLUMN: Brown Tweed
CATEGORIES: Film, Music, TV

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