Entertation Index, Sept. 27-Oct. 1: Sarah Palin to Bristol Palin: ‘You Can Always Quit!’

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The Clyde Fitch Report is pleased to introduce and welcome The Brown Tweed Society, created by Matt Shorr and C.M. Tomlin, to its family of contributors.

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Each week, the CFR will publish a condensed best-of-the-best version of the Brown Tweed Society’s acclaimed Entertation Index, which compiles the best dish, gossip and celebrity news filtered via Brown Tweed’s unique sensibility.

And so, the Entertation Index, Sept. 27-Oct. 1:

Bacon – A Seattle company which specializes in bacon has created a bust of actor Kevin Bacon made entirely of real bacon for a charity fundraiser. Let’s hope this one goes over much better than the one made in honor of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade‘s Alison Doody.

Link: Artist Makes Kevin Bacon Statue Out of Real Bacon (AOL)

Carey, Drew – By hitting the gym regularly and cutting out carbs, the famous funnyman and Price Is Right host has lost 80 pounds and virtually eliminated his diabetes. Carey is so devoted to his new healthy lifestyle that he will revise his book Dirty Jokes and Beer and reprint it as Mildly Amusing But Heartwarming Observational Humor and Diet Vitamin Water.

Link: Carey Cuts Down (People)

Centipede 2, The Human – Dutch director Tom Six, whose Human Centipede made audiences cringe earlier this year, tells the press that his forthcoming sequel to the horror flick will steer away from “realism” and instead be “pretty nasty.” This is a smart move. I always thought that the gleeful optimism of the original, wherein three people were sewn together mouth-to-anus, was just a little too feel-good for my tastes.

Link: Human Centipede 2 Trailer Slithers Online (Moviefone)

Cooper, Bradley – The A-Team and Hangover star, who currently stars in the opening-tomorrow thriller Case 39 with Renee Zellweger (a word of advice on that, by the way – it was made in 2006 and has been sitting on a shelf), has come clean about his romantic relationship with Zellweger, telling Entertainment Tonight “I just love her. I love coming to work. I love acting with her.” He allegedly added that “I know she feels that love too. It burns so brightly that she can’t even open her eyes all the way.”

Link: Bradley Cooper and Renee Zellweger Get Flirty in Case 39 (Entertainment Tonight)

Franco, James – Franco revealed recently that he scored a D in an acting class at NYU. As you can see, this grade destroyed his future, and he never made anything of himself and never worked in film. Work hard and stay in school, kids.

Link: Franco Nearly Failed Acting Class (Showbiz 411)

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Gaga, Lady – The “Poker Face” singer is reportedly buying a house in playground-for-the-rich Martha’s Vineyard. Known for her crazy outfits and antics, Gaga’s move will be the source of much speculation and consternation among her neighbors, given that her initial permit to build a house entirely out walrus tusks and bat wings was rejected.

Link: Gaga to Martha’s Vineyard? (WWD)

Greene, Ashley – The Twilight actress was reportedly seen at an erotic boutique in Hollywood checking out lingerie, sex books, and toys. Though Greene left empty-handed, a store employee figures she will send an assistant back to buy items as celebrities often don’t purchase such things in person. Since Greene currently dates purity-ring proponent Joe Jonas, it’s possible that Jonas’ assistant will be tasked with having sex with her.

Link: Greene Visits Nookie Store (Hollywood Life)

Palin, Bristol – The Dancing With the Stars contestant performed her first routine without her mom present, but Sarah was in L.A. Monday to support her daughter. Sarah’s advice to Bristol supposedly ended with, “and if you don’t feel like doing it anymore, you can always quit!”

Link: Palin’s Support (Huffington Post)

Timberlake, Justin – The singer, actor and co-star of the upcoming The Social Network tells Access Hollywood that he’s “stupid” with computers and new technology and doesn’t even know how to update his own Facebook page. I don’t believe this at all. I saw Justin Timberlake wearing glasses the other day. He needs to stop lying.

Link: Timberlake is Useless With Computers (Contactmusic)

Wonderful, POM – The Federal Trade Commission has sued makers of the popular pomegranate drink for making “false and unsubstantiated claims” about improving or preventing conditions ranging from heart disease to prostate cancer to erectile dysfunction. The FTC will next take aim at Pontiac for “not literally ‘building excitement’.”

Link: POM Sued (Wall Street Journal)

Read each day’s full Entertation Index every morning only at The Brown Tweed Society, your daily stop for more thoughtful pop culture news, trends and commentary. Follow TBTS on Twitter @browntweed.

COLUMN: Brown Tweed
CATEGORIES: Film, Music, TV

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